Exploring the Feeling of Irritability
For various reasons, we may have learned it is not okay to express our upset, anger, or dissatisfaction, and that it is easier, safer, or more appropriate to avoid conflict or disagreements.
When we learn to avoid or ignore things that are upsetting to us, we do not have the opportunity to acknowledge or express our feelings. We overlook our frustration, irritation, and anger, and this can have a negative effect on our health, relationships, and overall wellbeing.
If we acknowledge our feeling and advocate for our needs, than it is much easier to get what we want in life.
This exercise may be helpful as you begin to explore and identify your feelings of irritability. By holding a level of curiosity through this process, you may gain some valuable insights.
Inquiry Exercise:
How do I know I am irritable or agitated? (Example. I feel less patient or annoyed.)
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What do I feel in my body? Is it difficult to sit still? Do I feel muscles tension? Am I holding my breath?
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Did anything trigger my being irritable? Allow yourself to track your experience, what happened before you started feeling irritable? What were you thinking?
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Is there a preference, need, or a boundary that I am overlooking? (Example, A coworker chews and pops her gum loudly during work hours, and it is difficult for me to concentrate.)
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Am I taking care of myself? Am I getting enough sleep, recreation, nutrition, exercise, and relaxation time? Sometimes irritability is an indication that we need to attend to one of these areas.
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Is there something else going on that you may be upset about or not happy with? Sometimes, when we don’t acknowledge something that is upsetting us, it will come out in other ways (either consciously or unconsciously).
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Irritability or anger can be very useful in letting us know something in our life either is not working, needs attention, or is a violation in some way.
Based on the above questions, is there a situation or area in your life that needs attention? If so, take a moment to write down what area or situation in needs attention.
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Next, allow yourself to take note of what thoughts, judgments, fears or reactions you have in identifying this. (Example, I am afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. Or there is nothing I can do to address this concern.)
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Bringing awareness to this issue is the first step towards identifying your needs and ultimately making decisions that are more in alignment with your needs and desires.
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