ERP 266: How To Access More Vulnerability & Curiosity During Difficult Conversations – An Interview With Shana James

By Posted in - Podcast May 4th, 2021 0 Comments

In today’s episode, Shana James and I talk about being more vulnerable and showing more transparency about our experience, intentions, and hopes and how this can help promote more intimacy in relationships.

When relating to others, on one end of the spectrum we can be people-pleasing and shame collapsing. On the opposite side, we can be controlling and dominant. Neither option leads to a fulfilling relationship. Whereas in the middle, we have a sense of assertiveness, strength, and having an open heart with transparency and vulnerability. Having a healthy balance and a dynamic exchange between two people centered around support is the most advantageous for building relationships.

Having a conversation based on “compassionate curiosity” without jumping to assumptions or conclusions can lead to great learning and understanding. The more you take leadership in the conversation, the more you can be available to feel your partner’s fears.

Listen in to learn how to create a safe space for both partners, how to turn your emotional walls into doorways for conversation, and how to collaborate together for heightened sex and intimacy.

(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.)


For 15 years Shana James coached more than a thousand leaders, CEOs, authors and people with big visions to find love, step into more powerful leadership, start and grow businesses, create a legacy, and become more personally inspired and fulfilled. 

Shana cuts through distraction and provides direct access to confidence, power and clarity. She is also a translator between women and men, providing effective tools to transform conversations and dynamics that have gone awry into connection.

In this episode, Shana & Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: 

  • Humanity, trust and feeling safe inside relationships and at work
  • How to show up for yourself in your relationship
  • Why you don’t need to flip to the complete opposite side of an archetype
  • Getting into a locked dynamic when one person in a partnership isn’t being vulnerable
  • What challenging each other through love can look like
  • How to motivate or encourage people who are afraid to be vulnerable
  • Why practicing conversation with someone is important
  • The importance of feeling seen and heard for females in a relationship



ERP 266: How to Access More Vulnerability and Curiosity During Difficult Conversations, an Interview with Shana James

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins






Twitter: @DrJessHiggins 


Email: [email protected]

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Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication

Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication.

Stop the criticism loop, learn new ways to communicate
and strengthen the connection with your partner.


Dr. Jessica Higgins ~ Relationship and Transformational Coaching