Hi, I’m Jessica
RELATIONSHIP COACH | PSYCHOLOGIST & FACILITATOR
Your Guide to Healthy Relationships
When people engage in working with me, they are ready to address the ways in which they participate in perpetuating challenges.
They want to access the origins of their challenges and difficulties, so that they get out of the painful, repetitive loop and learn new ways of operating to be a “better version” of themselves and co-create love and connection with their significant other.
With over 25+ years of experience working with people therapeutically, I continue to be touched by people’s willingness to take emotional risks in service of their growth and development.
I am honored to hold space for the bravery that it takes to touch into the vulnerability and/or to turn to their partner with the clear vulnerable reveal.
I am deeply grateful for the work, when partners who have been in a cold, protective, distant stance with one another – and they can find ground for their experience and take doable risks to turn to each other, reveal tenderness, soften, open to each other and find connection with each other.
My Background and Approach
With a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and a M.A. in Counseling Psychology, two coaching certifications, and decades of experience, I do my best to offer clients a comprehensive blend of psychology and coaching. My work is attachment theory based, trauma informed, experiential, somatic and integrative.
My dissertation research was on Conscious Intimate Relationship. I am a Licensed Psychologist (PSY-3991) and a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC-5464) in the state of Colorado and I am a member of ICEEFT.
With advanced training in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), I implement the principles into my coaching work with couples. What I love most about this modality is that it is:
- Researched based
- Emotionally focused (which provides a safe, caring, empathetic therapeutic space to clients)
- Experiential (accesses present experience and gives an opportunity to repattern and incorporate corrective experience that contribute to new learning relationally)
*See below for other principles and modalities that I utilize.
Client Outcomes
My clients consistently remark about feeling deeply seen and understood. They also describe my reflections as being “spot on” or saying “that’s 100% it.”
I do my best to help organize and orient to the deeper layers within, so that clients can gain more connection with core emotions that underlie much of their behavior, motivation and thinking processes.
When clients connect with these deeper core fears and emotions, they report feeling a sense of, “Relief”, “Peace” and feeling “Empowered.”
From this place, we work together to develop new moves of relating, so that they can experience more vitality and connection.
Clients schedule video and telephone sessions to address their concerns and seek support in shifting their experience. To learn more, visit “work with me.”
During coaching groups, workshops and courses, individuals and couples learn how to achieve new levels of success, meaning, and aliveness within their relationship.
Since 2015, I have been the host of the Empowered Relationship Podcast which provides valuable information and guides individuals and couples into more empowered, conscious, and evolved ways of loving.
Therapeutic Modalities
Dr. Jessica draws from a rich tapestry of therapeutic approaches, tailoring her methods to best serve each client’s unique needs and goals. Her integrative style combines evidence-based practices with holistic techniques, ensuring a comprehensive and personalized treatment approach for individuals and couples seeking to enhance their relationships and personal growth.
- Emotionally Focused Therapy: Enhancing emotional bonds in couples and families
- Gottman Method: Research-based approach to strengthening relationships
- Polyvagal Theory: Understanding the autonomic nervous system’s role
- Dr. David Schnarch: Focusing on differentiation and emotional intimacy
- Real with Terry Real: Empowering individuals to create authentic relationships
- PACT with Dr. Stan Tatkin: A psychobiological approach to couple therapy
- Gay and Katie Hendricks: Emphasizing conscious loving and personal growth
- Imago with Harville Hendrix & Helen LaKelly Hunt: Healing relationship dynamics
- Relationship Coaching & Family/Marital/Couples Therapy: Improving relationships
- Transformational & Therapeutic Coaching: Facilitating deep personal change
- Humanistic Approach: Employing unconditional positive regard and empathy
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Working with thoughts, expectations, and beliefs
- Transpersonal & Spiritual Psychology: Addressing holistic and spiritual aspects
- Body Centered/Somatic Therapy: Exploring emotions and experiences in the body
- Positive Psychology: Emphasizing strengths, virtues, and what’s working well
- Mindfulness: Cultivating a calm, non-judgmental awareness of one’s experience
- Interpersonal Approach: Focusing on relationships and interpersonal dynamics
- Psychodynamic Approach: Examining past experiences’ influence on current patterns
- Gestalt Approach: Emphasizing present-moment awareness and experiential exploration
- Guided Imagery, Visualization & Relaxation: Utilizing the mind-body connection
- Systems Theory: Recognizing the interconnectedness of families and relationships
- Multiculturalism: Valuing and respecting diversity in all its forms
- LGBTQ ally: Supporting and advocating for the LGBTQ community
- Trauma-Informed Care: Addressing the impact of trauma on individuals and relationships
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
– RUMI
My Personal Journey
MY SOURCE OF STRENGTH
My relationship with my husband is and continues to be one of my biggest teachers for me, and our relationship continues to be a vehicle for healing, growth and integration. I am extremely lucky to be in partnership with a man that I deeply regard and trust.
I LIVE A VIBRANT LIFE
Some of my favorite memories with my husband are being out in nature hiking, playing beach volleyball or soaking in hot springs.
Healthy living is of great importance for me. I like to eat nutritious, organic, whole foods as much as possible. When visiting a new area, I love finding organic, vegan (although, I am not vegan), local restaurants and health food stores.
I practice yoga several times a week. During my yoga practice, I deepen and expand my breath, practice mindful movement and release tension and stress that I am holding.
VOLLEYBALL IS MY PASSION
I am a huge fan of beach volleyball. If I am near a beach, I love to play. Living in Santa Barbara for 8 years, there were weeks where I would play almost everyday. I found it to be a perfect blend of being outside (in nature…feet in the sand – by the ocean, with dolphins porpoising by), being physical and active (It is a great workout) and being social (some of my closest friends in Santa Barbara play beach volleyball).
WORK-LIFE BALANCE IS KEY
I am happiest when I have a good work-life balance, so that I can be in my heart connecting with the people around me, that I can be in my body and notice my physical cues and I can be still enough to listen to my intuition and inner wisdom. Although, this is a constant goal, as I am ambitious and optimistic about all the things I can achieve and get done. My previous tendency has been to deliver even at the cost of over-working.
I have experienced trauma (verbal, emotional, sexual, physical), death of a parent, a parent with mental illness, a parent with alcohol and drug addiction issues, stresses of a single parent household, challenges of a blended family, domestic abuse in my early life and upbringing. Through safe, loving relationships with mentors, teachers, groups, therapists, friendships and significant others, I have been able to turn towards my grief, pain, wounding, fear, terror and trauma meeting it with awareness, breath and understanding which has helped me metabolize, organize and integrate my experience. I am committed to the process of healing, awareness and development.
Gratefully, I benefited from several sources of resilience as well.
I felt loved…
While there was a lot of instability and volatility in my upbringing, I felt loved and supported in many ways. My mother was very playful, affectionate and engaged in my life. She also fostered communication and openness about feelings and dynamics. She was teaching me “I” statements from a very early age.
I LOVE TO BUILD CONNECTIONS
I genuinely love engaging with others…
My mother says as an infant, I would smile and engage with people anywhere that we would go.
Relating to others and being playful has been a consistent part of my personality.
EARLY YEARS
My grandparents have been a source of safety, comfort and reliability.
While I didn’t always live close to them, the years that I did and all the summers that I spent on their property were profoundly beneficial to my development and regulation growing up.
I AM GRATEFUL FOR FRIENDSHIP
Thankfully, I have had great friendships throughout my life. The focus of the friendships has varied depending on different stages and phases of life. Some connections have been very close for periods of time, some have been off and on and some have been life long. I appreciate the different forms of connection…play and laughter, heartfelt and deep, spiritual, purpose and meaning, supportive and encouraging, etc. It feels important to mention my dear friend of over 42 years, who I love dearly.
There are many other sources of resilience that I have also experienced…like teachers, mentors, advisors that have supported and encouraged my development.
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