ERP 007: Cultivating More Connection In The Little Moments
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The Relational Approach emphasizes the priority of the relationship. It puts the focus on the quality of connection and bond, rather than any task or agenda at hand.
Here are 4 C’s to help you practice being more relational:
Pause, notice your loved one, and observe the situation.
Try to connect with your loved one, join them, and take a moment to bond.
Wonder about your loved one, check-in, and get a sense of their world.
With mutual consideration, look at what is next, and create a plan that works for both of you.
How do you typically approach the world and people in your life?
Knowing your dominant mode will help you understand how you normally relate to your loved ones. Can you improve your approach by cultivating other modes of orienting?
Here are the three basic modes of operating:
- Thinking – head
- Feeling – heart
- Sensing – body
Myers-Briggs: http://www.myersbriggs.org/. This is the official website. Also, here are the types http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/the-16-mbti-types.htm. However, you will be able to find self-assessment tools online by doing a google search.
Initiating a conversation:
- “What do you think about that?” Stereotypically, men appreciate this question, and it is a good place to start a conversation.
- “How do you feel about that?” Stereotypically, woman appreciate this questions, and it can be a nice place to start the interaction.
Thank you so much for investing in the process of improving your relationship skills. If you have a question that you would like me to answer, please leave me a voice message, by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.
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