ERP 027: Asking For What You Want & Getting It ~ With Dr. Corey Allen
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How To Get What You Want In A Relationship
These my Empowered Relationship podcast show notes. Be sure to listen to the full episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.
Dr. Corey Allen and I had a great conversation talking about Asking For What You Want & Getting It.
Dr. Corey Allen is a husband, father, author, speaker, as well as a Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Counselor with a Ph.D. in Family Therapy.
“Growing Up” In Relationship:
- Marriage is designed to help us grown up
- Growth does not have to be a threat
- We can use experiences (good and bad) as a practice ground
- “Get out of the harbor” to gain more skill and mastery
- Dr. David Schnarch and his work for passionate marriages
- Intimacy & Desire book written by Dr. David Schnarch
- Predicting what your partner is thinking and what they are going to do
- Do you allow yourself to be read?
Get Out Of Your Own Way:
- Know what you want is okay. Practice self-validation
- Work with your fear of asking for what you want
- Asking is half the battle. Our fear is usually worse than reality
How Ask For What You Want In A Relationship:
- Know what you want
- Give yourself permission to ask
- Be in the practice of asking
Difficult Dynamics We Get Into In A Relationship:
- Subtle manipulation – we all want things a certain way
- “Call it out.” You can dramatically change the dynamic in the relationship
- How important is this to you?
- See varying levels of desire between partners, as merely a difference
- Be honest about what you want
- Be clear about what you want
- Be present
- Try to enjoy
- “Let your partner do their job”
- Figure out where you get in your own way
- Get out of your own way
- Let your partner do their job, while you do your job
- “Get out of the harbor”
- Simple Marriage
- Sexy Marriage Radio
- Assume your wife is the most spontaneous, adventurous woman on the face on the planet
- Her job is to say, “no” to anything that she is not interested in
- When you do hear “no,” refer back to number one- 3 Simple Rules For Fantastic Sex (For Men)
Be sure to check out next week’s topic, How To Clear Issues With Your Partner.
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