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ERP 027: Asking For What You Want & Getting It ~ With Dr. Corey Allen

By Posted in - Getting What You Want In Relationship & Podcast & Relationships August 6th, 2015 0 Comments How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

These my Empowered Relationship podcast show notes. Be sure to listen to the full episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.

Dr. Corey Allen and I had a great conversation talking about Asking For What You Want & Getting It.

Dr. Corey Allen is a husband, father, author, speaker, as well as a Marriage and Family Therapist and a Licensed Professional Counselor with a Ph.D. in Family Therapy.

“Growing Up” In Relationship:

  • How To Get What You Want In A RelationshipMarriage is designed to help us grown up
  • Growth does not have to be a threat
  • We can use experiences (good and bad) as a practice ground
  • “Get out of the harbor” to gain more skill and mastery
  • Dr. David Schnarch and his work for passionate marriages
  • Intimacy & Desire book written by Dr. David Schnarch

Mind Mapping:

  • Predicting what your partner is thinking and what they are going to do
  • Do you allow yourself to be read?

Get Out Of Your Own Way:

  • Know what you want is okay. Practice self-validation
  • Work with your fear of asking for what you want
  • Asking is half the battle. Our fear is usually worse than reality

How To Get What You Want In A RelationshipHow Ask For What You Want In A Relationship:

  • Know what you want
  • Give yourself permission to ask
  • Be in the practice of asking

Difficult Dynamics We Get Into In A Relationship:

  • Placating
  • Complacency
  • Subtle manipulation – we all want things a certain way
  • Obligation
  • Expectation

Mutual Responsibility:

  • “Call it out.” You can dramatically change the dynamic in the relationship
  • How important is this to you?
  • See varying levels of desire between partners, as merely a difference
  • Be honest about what you want
  • Be clear about what you want

How To Get What You Want In A RelationshipReceive:

  • Be present
  • Breathe
  • Try to enjoy
  • “Let your partner do their job”

Summary:

  • Figure out where you get in your own way
  • Get out of your own way
  • Let your partner do their job, while you do your job
  • “Get out of the harbor”

Mentioned:

  • Simple Marriage
  • Sexy Marriage Radio
    • Assume your wife is the most spontaneous, adventurous woman on the face on the planet
    • Her job is to say, “no” to anything that she is not interested in
    • When you do hear “no,” refer back to number one- 3 Simple Rules For Fantastic Sex (For Men)

Be sure to check out next week’s topic, How To Clear Issues With Your Partner.

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in how to get what you want in a relationship. I believe in your relationship success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review if you would be willing to click here.

Thank you!

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