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ERP 040: How To Be Intentional In Relationship With Stuart Fensterheim

Good Intentions in a Relationship

Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW has been a couples counselor for over 30 years. He graduated with a Master of Social Work in 1985 from the University of Maryland and specializes with couples using EFT. He believes that with a power of love and relationships as the basis of all of our happiness, and without a connected relationship, people suffer in their lives. Stuart's focus is on changing the world one relationship at a time.

Stuart is also the host of The Couples Expert Podcast.

In this episode, Stuart talks with us about how to be more create good intentions in a relationship, especially when we are having hurt feelings or issues with our partner. He identifies the importance of rethinking our negative interpretations so that we can set the stage for more connection in our love relationships.

(These are Show Notes: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.)

Stuart recommends these practices for setting an intention for a relationship:

  • Question your negative interpretations of your partner. Ask yourself, “how does this interpretation help?”
  • Take control of your assumptions. Take a risk and work to disprove your assumptions.
  • Be open and vulnerable about your relationship needs.
  • Recognize “primal pain” or hurt that gets activated in a love relationship.
  • Communicate to show your partner how much they mean to you.

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