ERP 063: How To keep Your Relationship Strong (when she is more successful)

By Posted in - Podcast & Relationships May 11th, 2016 0 Comments

Are men really attracted to successful women?
Does a man feel threatened or emasculated when his female partner outperforms him?
Is a marriage compromised when the woman is the breadwinner?

In the episode, I discuss findings from several research studies that address these questions. Please see links below to access articles and blogs (under “Mentioned”).

Here are some main points:

  • Men are attracted to female intelligence, and it is one of the strongest predictors of romantic interest. (Pincott, 2016)
  • However, the challenge arises when men feel they are being outperformed. (Pincott, 2016)
  • “Without realizing it, men reframe ‘Wow, my partner is successful’ as ‘Wow, my partner is successful and I am unsuccessful.’” (Pincott, 2016)
  • “The blow to the ego, however self-inflicted, appears to hurt how men see their relationship.” (Pincott, 2016)
  • The good news is that men can feel good, even when their female partner outperforms them, if they view the relationship itself as an emotional resource. (Pincott, 2016)
  • executive-454865_1920 copyGrowing trend that women are the primary breadwinners in the home. (Rampell, 2013)
  • “Couples in which the wife earns more report less satisfaction with their marriage and higher rates of divorce.” (Shpilberg, 2013)
  • Men 100% economically dependent on wives are most at risk for cheating, according to study, Christin Munsch, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Connecticut. (Wallace, 2015)
  • “‘Most men don’t have affairs,’ says Marshall. ‘But they stray when they are desperate, when they feel unheard, un-listened to. It is demeaning to say they need their ego stroked, but when you step off the primrose path – and by this I mean the usual path most go down – you need to do a lot of talking.'” (Cavendish, 2015)
  • “If a man feels emasculated and as if he has lost his purpose in his life, he needs to ask himself some hard and difficult questions: ‘who am I? What gives my life meaning?’ The easy question is, ‘do I fancy this other woman?’ The simple answer to that is often, ‘yes’.” (Cavendish, 2015)

9 Ways To Strengthen your relationship when she is the breadwinner: Part One (2 of 9)

Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.

sky-476817_1920 copy1. Know what kind of life you want to create with your significant other.

  • In regards to division of labor, gender roles (i.e. traditional), societal expectations, quality of life (i.e. work/life balance.), personal desires and preferences.

2. Know what it means to you to be a man/know what it means to you to be a woman.

  • What makes you feel like a woman/what makes you feel like a man?
  • What is important to you and your identity as a man/woman?

Stay tuned for the next podcast episode where I offer you 7 more ways to strengthen your relationship when these tensions exist.



Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 063: How To Keep Your Relationship Strong (when she is more successful) – Part I [TRANSCRIPT]

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Dr. Jessica Higgins ~ Relationship and Transformational Coaching