ERP 092: How To Get Unstuck From Old Patterns When Cultivating A Love Relationship
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Laser Coaching Session With Listener
In this episode, I offer coaching to help a listener explore her struggles with fear, doubt, and old programing as she develops intimacy in relationship.
(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear the conversation and examples to describe these points.)
5 tips for developing a new pattern:
1. Recognize your pain point and old pattern, and when you feel triggered (i.e. “I don’t feel like you believe me.” “I work hard to get you to validate my perspective.”).
2. Slow down. Show up for yourself. Make a choice to try something new (i.e. “I am not going to hustle like I am used to doing. I am going to try a new way of dealing with this trigger or pain point.”)
3. Give yourself the support you need to have a new pattern (i.e. “What I am feeling makes sense. It is real and true.”).
4. Accept what your partner has to give in that moment. It may not be what you want, but struggling with them to give you what you want will probably not work. If they are open, you can help them understand you better and they may be able empathize and soften. However, they ultimately have a choice in how they show up for you. (Ideally, you and your partner will want to work together to understand each other better, to help take care of each other, and to relate in ways that feel good to you both. This takes time and process.).
5. Believe in your worthiness, your values, and the type of relationship you desire. You get to choose what you invest your time, energy, and effort into.
Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 092: How To Get Unstuck From Old Patterns When Cultivating A Love Relationship [Transcript]
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If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.