Podcast: Play in new window

Subscribe: RSS

Guest: Dr. Susan Heitler

Susan Heitler PhD is a Denver clinical psychologist and widely-read author. Educated at Harvard and NYU, Susan Heitler offers self-help information for individuals and for couples . Dr. Heitler also writes for therapists, offering new understandings and treatments for anxiety, anger, depression, narcissism, and relationship challenges. Dr. Heitler’s web-page provides an overview with links to 40+ years of books. blogposts, articles, podcasts, videos, webinars, online marriage education program, and more. Dr. Susan Heitler has earned a national and international reputation as one of America’s leading psychologists.

(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.)

Depression:

“What triggers depression is feeling powerless and giving up on something you want.” by Dr. Susan Heitler

• Emotions get manifested in the body by physical changes.
• What triggers emotion is important.
• Depression is a disorder of power.
• There is a continuum of depression (going from being down or blue to having little ability to function and having suicidal ideation).
• Get help if you or your partner are experiencing severe depression through the way of a therapist and psychiatrist.

Bump Model:

• Challenges in life are the bumps in the road.
• How you respond to the bump in the road helps determine what you experience going forward.

The Hand Map for How to Help Someone with Depression:

3 P's Prescription for Dealing with Depression:

• Pinpoint. Figure out the trigger. What is the bump in the road?
• Pump up. Take a deep breath. Take a power pose. Imagine yourself getting bigger and taller.
• Problem solve. Think of solutions from a much more empowered position.

Two questions to Test for Depression:

• After pinpointing the issue, ask yourself “Do you feel small compared to the other person or other thing involved?”
• Are you engaging in the negative cognitive triad (thinking negatively about self, others and the future)?

How Couples Can Deal with Depression:

• Share concerns.
• Listen to concerns.
• Aim for win/win solutions.

Enjoy Antidotes For Depression Together:

• Sunshine.
• Music.
• Nature.
• Activity.

How to deal with your partner's bad mood:

• If you want to help your partner, don't assume what they need. Ask. Ask your partner “What helps and what doesn't help?”
• If your partner is in a negative space, you may want to go do a separate activity to create some space (where you can experience positivity). Then, maybe your partner can join your positive mood, rather than you joining your partner's negative mood.
• Don't take your partner's irritability and anger.
• Create safety together for talking about what is going on.

Engaging in relationship well requires maturity and skill.

MENTIONED:

• Lift Depression With These 3 Prescriptions- Without-Pills | Susan Heitler | TEDxWilmington (Video)
• Prescriptions Without Pills (Website)
• 5 Realities About Depression That Make It Highly Contagious, by Dr. Susan Heitler (Article)
• Therapy Help (Website)
• The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage (*Amazon Affiliate link) (Book)
• The Power of Two Workbook: Communication Skills for a Strong & Loving Marriage (*Amazon Affiliate link) (Book)
• Prescriptions Without Pills: For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety, and More (*Amazon Affiliate link) (Book)
• Conflict Resolution for Couples (Podcast episode)
• Depression: A Disorder of Power (Podcast episode)
• Dr. Susan Heitler on Psychology Today (Webpage)
• Power of Two (Website)

TRANSCRIPT:  

Click on this link to access the transcript for this episode: ERP 169: What To Do When Depression Takes Hold In Your Relationship, with Dr. Susan Heitler

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you! ❤

*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.