ERP 252: How to Deal with Sexual Performance Anxieties – an Interview with Dr. Ian Kerner

By Posted in - Podcast January 26th, 2021 0 Comments

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Ian Kerner. We discuss the effects of pornography on sexual health, why Ian became depressed about his personal sexuality, and how his sexual anxieties impacted his early relationships.

He talks about his own battles with erectile unpredictability, how he grew up in a sex-invasive environment, and why he suffered from chronic early ejaculation as a young man.

Ian talks about the importance of working with a sex therapist when a couple is challenged with sexual concerns. It can be extremely helpful in understanding sexual research and science to offer validation and direction. 

Listen in to learn how critical it is to have a safe space to explore vulnerable emotions and all that is involved within our experience sexually (i.e. physically, emotionally, culturally, socially, mentally, etc). 

(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.)


Ian Kerner is a nationally-recognized sex therapist and New York Times bestselling author of numerous books, including, She Comes First, which has been translated into more than a dozen languages. Ian is regularly quoted as an expert in various media, with recent features in The Atlantic, the Economist and NPR amongst others and he contributes regularly on the topic of sex for CNN. He teaches and supervises at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in NYC. His new book will be published by Grand Central Publishing later this year. 

In this episode, Ian Kerner and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: 

  • How anxiety can greatly influence our experience around sex
  • Where couples commonly have issues around sex
  • The psychological component of erectile unpredictability
  • Differences in sexual issues based on gender
  • Why women experience an orgasm gap
  • The shame associated with the topic of sex
  • Negative effects of an idiosyncratic masturbatory style
  • How people can exile their sexuality in a relationship
  • Why the essence of sex is also about being turned off as well as turned on



ERP 252: How to Deal with Sexual Performance Anxieties, an Interview with Dr. Ian Kerner

Connect with Ian Kerner

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Twitter: @DrJessHiggins 


Email: [email protected]

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Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication

Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication.

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Dr. Jessica Higgins ~ Relationship and Transformational Coaching