ERP 253: How to Deal with Primal Abandonment and Shame – an Interview with Susan Anderson

By Posted in - Podcast February 2nd, 2021 0 Comments

In today’s episode, I’m joined by Susan Anderson as we discuss primal abandonment and what brought Susan to this topic. Learn why abandonment is a cumulative wound that can be triggered well into adulthood.

She talks about the process of shattering and why this is a primal fear that lurks in our minds, and why it’s normal to have abandonment fear from the time of birth. We start with this conditioning at birth with primal abandonment, the universal feeling of disconnect or not being worthy of connection.

Susan talks about the different types of abandonment and which life events can trigger or cause the feeling of primal abandonment within ourselves. She also speaks about how abandonment patterns can show up in choosing a partner who is emotionally and physically unavailable in adulthood.

Listen in to learn why people are motivated to feel connected, the spectrum of abandonment, and why people who experience childhood abandonment will experience a more challenging time when a relationship dissolves.

(Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.)


Susan Anderson has devoted more than 30 years of clinical experience and groundbreaking research in working with victims of abandonment trauma. Founder of the Abandonment Recovery movement, she is the author of four books including Journey from Abandonment to Healing, Taming Your OUter Child, Black Swan: Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery and The Abandonment Recovery Workbook.

In this episode, Susan Anderson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: 

  • How her husband leaving after an 18-year relationship brought her to specialize in abandonment issues
  • Why abandonment is the primal issue that we share as humans
  • Separation anxiety as a normalized emotional feeling
  • The positive side effects of abandonment
  • The human spectrum of emotional abandonment 
  • Coping with childhood abandonment as an adult
  • How abandonment triggers accumulate as a larger emotional wound
  • The unconscious feeling of primal shame that comes with abandonment
  • What the process of abandonment recovery looks like
  • How you get to become the parent you never had growing up


Susan Anderson’s books:

The Abandonment Recovery Workbook (*Amazon Affiliate link)*

Journey from Abandonment to Healing (*Amazon Affiliate link)*

Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment* (*Amazon Affiliate link)

Black Swan: The Twelve Lessons of Abandonment Recovery (*Amazon Affiliate link)*


ERP 253: How to Deal with Primal Abandonment and Shame, an Interview with Susan Anderson

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins






Twitter: @DrJessHiggins 


Email: [email protected]

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*With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

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Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication

Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication.

Stop the criticism loop, learn new ways to communicate
and strengthen the connection with your partner.


Dr. Jessica Higgins ~ Relationship and Transformational Coaching