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Are you feeling the strain in your long-term relationships, whether it’s with a partner or a friend? As time passes, staying engaged and committed can become a challenge, especially amid the demands of daily life, aging, or the shadow of global disruptions like the COVID-19 pandemic. Maintaining vibrant, nurturing connections can sometimes feel like an uphill battle, leaving many wondering how to inject new life and meaning into these cherished bonds. As we grow older, the importance of these relationships only intensifies, impacting our health, happiness, and overall lifespan. So, how do we keep the flame alive and foster relational longevity amid life's inevitable changes?

In this episode, we explore innovative and meaningful practices designed to rekindle and sustain the depth of our relationships. From the ritual of vow renewal to annual relationship debriefs you'll discover inspiring ways to continually recommit to your loved ones. Insights from experts discuss the social and health benefits of these rituals, and how they can fortify not just marriages, but friendships and broader social networks. Whether you're looking to enhance your romantic life or invigorate your friendships, this conversation offers practical tools and evidence-based strategies to help you create an enduring and life-affirming connection. Dive in to learn how celebrating milestones, maintaining personal interests, and fostering intentional social ties can significantly elevate the quality of your relationships and your life.Maddy Dychtwald is an internationally acclaimed author, public speaker, and thought leader on longevity, aging, the new retirement, and the ascent of women. She co-founded Age Wave, the world's leader in understanding and addressing the far-reaching impacts of our aging population, and has led numerous acclaimed studies on women and money. Her recently published book, “Ageless Aging: A Woman’s Guide to Increasing Healthspan, Brainspan, and Lifespan” was a USA Today bestseller and a Publishers Weekly bestseller.

In this episode

6:05 Maddy Dychtwald’s four decades of passion in aging, longevity, and retirement.

10:08 The power of mindset and social connections for a healthier, longer life.

26:55 How couples keep their relationship vibrant through regular communication and annual vow renewals.

38:51 Navigating aging in relationships: Balancing different attitudes towards health and longevity.

Your Check List of Actions to Take

• Schedule a yearly vow renewal ceremony with your partner to recommit and reflect on your relationship, ensuring it is close to your anniversary date to reinforce the tradition.
• Conduct an honest and open relationship debrief each year, discussing what went well, and what needs improvement, and setting mutual goals.
• Celebrate significant friendships and long-term relationships by planning meaningful trips or special events to honor these connections.
• Adopt a holistic approach to health by incorporating balanced nutrition, regular exercise, sufficient sleep, and mindfulness practices into your daily routine.
• Improve your sleep quality and align with natural circadian rhythms by getting exposure to morning sunlight each day.
• Develop and maintain intentional social connections, differentiating between close relationships and casual interactions, both of which contribute to overall well-being.
• Stay engaged with learning and current events, and foster intergenerational interactions to enhance cognitive function and emotional well-being.
• Cultivate a positive attitude towards aging, which can help increase your health span and lifespan, and alleviate physical ailments.

Mentioned

Ageless Aging: A Woman’s Guide to Increasing Healthspan, Brainspan, and Lifespan (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)

ERP 110: How to Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs in Relationship

Relationship Map To Happy, Lasting Love

Connect with Maddy Dychtwald

Websites: maddydychtwald.com

Facebook: facebook.com/maddy.dychtwald

X: twitter.com/Maddy_Dychtwald

Instagram: instagram.com/maddydychtwald

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/maddydychtwald

Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins

Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship 

Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins 

Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/

Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation 

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins 

Twitter: @DrJessHiggins 

Website: drjessicahiggins.com  

Email: [email protected]

About Today's Show

Maddy, thank you for being with us today.

Oh, thanks for having me. It's such a pleasure to join you.

Likewise! I think you'll have a unique perspective to offer, in that I don't do a lot to cover aging and longevity. But this is a topic that affects every human, whether or not we're talking about it or not, and also how it impacts intimate relationship. Or conversely, how intimate connection and the health of those connections affect aging and longevity. 

So I'm interested, before we dive into our topic, if you can share a little bit about you, what got you interested in it? I think you've been doing this work for a very long time. So what would you like people to know about where you're coming from here?

Yeah, well, thanks for asking that. I've been on this beat of aging, longevity, retirement for close to 40 years. So you do the math. I have grown up with my company Age Wave. I am now 74 years old, so there's that. But Age Wave is a think tank, and we're very zeroed in on these subjects of aging, longevity, and retirement. We've worked with close to half the Fortune 500. What we do is a lot of research, digging into the subject with people of all ages—Americans, even globally—and we try to make sense of the social side, as well as the more hard science side of this whole dynamic. Because as you mentioned, Jess, in the very beginning. 

That's such an interesting perspective! I think there's the arc of developing and growing, we'll use that language in the early years and to a certain point, and then this whole concept of when we're at midlife. Obviously it's changing based on our lifespan, and obviously that's if we're fortunate enough to live the entire predicted lifespan of what we're capable of. But there's this arc. It's interesting that you frame it as just a continual aging. In other words, that's part of growing, but also dying. 

That's true. Rather than focus on the dying aspect, which we can do, it's part of the lifespan. But I personally believe, and from all the people that I've spoken to. I mean, let me back up a minute. One of the great advantages at Age Wave is we interview all the top scientists, researchers, academicians, social scientists like yourself, and physicians, on these subjects. So we get a really interesting perspective on it. So let's start there. We have not only dug deep into this subject, but we understand what are the things that really matter to people, and I think that that is really key. 

It almost sounds as though you define aging differently. I think I just spoke into something that maybe people unconsciously or consciously associate with aging is dying. Like: Oh, I'm aging and I'm getting closer to death. So it sounds like you're seeing aging as something different.

Okay, yes, I do. First of all, there's three different kinds of aging. There's the chronological aging, which is what most of us focus on, the number of birthdays that we've had. I already came out and said I'm 74, I've had a lot of birthdays. Then there's the physical aging, which we're all going through. I mean, it's the aches and pains that may come with getting older, which many people start to say: Oh geez, we're getting closer to that death place. Maybe it's the chronic diseases, like heart disease, or something horrible like a stroke. So these are the physical manifestations that, by the way, we have some control over, but we can talk about that later. That's good news, we do have some control. 

Then there's the other side of it that you kind of alluded to in your last question, and that is the emotional, psychological side of aging. That is something that actually can get better as we get older. I mean, we can—in fact, we have the capacity anyway—to not just have experiences, but turn those experiences into a kind of wisdom. We also have seen, from studies that we've done at Age Wave, that especially women, our resilience actually gets stronger as we get older, and that's a really good thing. Now that doesn't mean you should avoid the subject of death, but recognize that it's part of life. Just because you're experiencing some of the physical decline doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to be dying soon, and that's actually good news, bad news. 

Well, the good news is that particularly women, we've won that longevity lottery. We live on average six years longer than men, and average life expectancy has gone all the way up. For women, we live, on average, to age 81. So that's great news, right? But this death thing that hangs over us, well, it's kind of stronger for women. Because although women live longer than men, we tend to get sicker than men, particularly in those last years of life. We have this cascade of bad stuff, physical decline that can happen to us. Even when you correct for the fact that we have longer lives, we still spend more years in a decline of health than men, and the average is about 14 years. That can make you feel like: Jesus, I wish I would die. I mean, I'm laughing, but it's not funny. 

But there is some good news, and that is, the most recent science tells us that it doesn't have to be that way, that we have a lot of agency over our own health and well-being. In fact, up to 80% of our health and well-being is within our control, having to do with our lifestyle and our environment. So that's good news. That doesn't necessarily mean you're going to die later, although it could mean that. But it means that you're going to increase the number of healthy years or your health span, and that's good news. 

Yes, the quality of living is everything. Health is everything when we look at vitality and just living in general. If I'm hearing you, Maddy, you're describing a few things. One of which is, if we start to feel some ailments or some health indicators that are not optimal, that that can be an indicator for us to maybe make some changes that would allow us to feel more healthy, both from a lifestyle, sleep, food, exercise. But also, perhaps intimate connection, or even absolutely family, friends. I mean, I love the research that's coming out about the importance of connection, whether or not it's social. It's huge, I would love for you to speak about that. 

The other thing I'm really hearing you speak to is a mindset. That if we start perpetuating this narrative of like: Oh, I'm getting old. So I just turned 50 this year, and my husband is a couple years younger. He grew up in the Midwest, and he's a little more prone to deferring to that kind of aging or midlife or something like that, where I am aware of it, but I also am aware of my language. So I had shared with you, we're in the Central Coast California. We were living in Santa Barbara for about eight years, and played a lot of beach volleyball. The beautiful thing about that is, there were people playing in their 20s or teens, all the way up. There was someone in their 70s playing, and I would play with women sometimes in their 60s. I feel that when one is still connected to their joy, and I'm sure you can speak on all the things that help create more vitality. But that looks very different than, stereotypically, someone in the Midwest who is thinking about: Oh, I'm old and I can't do this, or I can't walk here. Is it mindset, and is it also some of the lifestyle choices and relationship being a part of that?

Yes and yes. Let me dive into it, because you're talking about two super important things. One is mindset. And what I love about mindset is it's not only in your control, it's free, and you can do it with a flick of a switch. So isn't that great news? There was some seminal studies done on this whole idea of mindset. They were done by Dr. Becca Levy from Yale, and she did some longitudinal, which only means long-term, studies in the Midwest, and found that those people who had a positive attitude towards their own aging had a great bonus come their way. They had an additional 7.5 years of life, so an increase in lifespan. There have been work done to add on to this research telling us that, okay, that's great. But what about your health? Well, it seems like those aches and pains of arthritis and muscle aches and joint pain, and even chronic diseases like diabetes, can actually be helped by having a more positive attitude towards your own aging. So that's great news, right?

Yes, Maddy, I'm hoping maybe you can help me put some links. Because I remember coming across an interview where a physician, when she was talking about some studies that had been done, when people even contemplate or reminisce about earlier years, it so-called activates more of the youth, or even so-called a youth gene, when you listen to music.

I know, there's studies on that. I'm not 100% sure. I know those people, and they've created environments that reminisce towards when you were young. I personally think that's great. But at the same time, I think, well, isn't it great to be part of what's going on in the world today? I mean, to stay adjacent to all the good things that are going on, to interact with young people, for instance. From talking about social connections, which we know, first of all, that loneliness, and this has become pretty standard operating procedure, people know about this. 

So social connections really matter, and it's becoming part of the narrative. There was an article today in The New York Times talking about doing longevity, it's really boring. What is it about? It's about, well, eating right, exercise, sleeping right, and social connections. So social connections is starting to be included in that: Of course, yes, you need to be doing these things in order to not just live longer, but live better. 

It cannot be emphasized enough, and I'm grateful, to your point, that it's getting the recognition of these major pillars that contribute to our health and well-being. I realize we could talk extensively, probably do a whole masterclass series on mindset and relationships. Well, let's pivot towards romantic, intimate relationship. Can you share a little bit more about how you see the connection with aging and longevity?

They need to try harder, work harder, do things maybe that are outside of their comfort zone, to stay connected to people. I'll give you an example. One of the women that I interviewed, who happens to also be an expert on aging, her name is Helen Dennis. She's also a reporter. She's in her 80s, and her husband died several years back. She actually had a boyfriend after that, and felt like they were not on the same page. She wanted to work, he wanted to rest and relax. So she broke up with him. But she found herself doing things alone. So she went to the theater one day by herself, found herself sitting next to a woman, apparently also by herself, and she struck up a conversation with her, which, by the way, was outside of her comfort zone. She didn't like doing that kind of stuff. But they started talking, and they realized that they both love theater, and they decided that they would become theater buddies. That was the beginning of their relationship. Friendship—this was not a love relationship. That just shows there's ways you can compensate. 

Because, let's face it, women live longer than men. My brother-in-law, who lives down in southern Florida, which we know is like retirement haven, he was telling me that he was at an event the other day, and there were like 80 women and three men. I mean, that's pretty typical. So creating community with other women becomes more of a necessity, if you're a solo-ager in particular.

Yes, and as you said, there's ways to cultivate bonding and shared activities and connection on multiple levels that might be able to, as you said, offer amendment or compliment or even compensate, depending on the circumstances. Not every partner wants to do. As you said, even in maybe a married couple's relationship, one wants to be more active and out in the world, and the other one wants to be more home. So even for someone who is partnered, they may want to have a theater buddy. 

Yeah, exactly. I mean, there are things that you can do. I know that I'm married for more than 40 years, it's crazy when I think about it, and we don't do everything together. Like tonight, I'm going out to dinner with a girlfriend, and I love being able to do that. You have different conversations when you're one-on-one or with a group of women, than you do when you're with your spouse/partner, if you have a spouse/partner. I would also add that if you do have a spouse/partner, and it's a long-term relationship, you're going to have to do things to keep that relationship fresh and ongoing. That's just a reality.

I want to dive into that. I want to ask one quick question before we pivot. I remember the Blue Zones, I don't know if you've worked with them. 

Sure, I know Dan. 

Okay, great. So it was his book about happiness, and he was like, it's common sense, health and happiness. But he looked at the 3 P's of: Purpose, Pride, and Pleasure. One of them was in Costa Rica, with the pleasure, and I think they were quoting or citing eight hours of socializing a day, that that was really contributing towards health, longevity, and well-being. Do you see in the West, particularly as we're speaking in the United States, it's a little trickier to get that communal contact, or it just has to be that much more intentional? I'm just curious what your vantage point is on this.

So I think putting a time frame on it makes us all feel stressful. I think that stress, we know that if you have chronic stress, that raises cortisol levels and manifests as inflammation, which can become disease. So that may be counterproductive. 

So putting any prescriptive number, do you mean?

Yeah, it's like, is that going to make you feel good? We're talking about joy here. Let's try to feel good about our joy and our social connections.

Yes. Do you think, in the West, people have to be a little bit more intentional about it?

I definitely do. I mean, COVID had a huge impact on us in terms of social connections, particularly, by the way, young people. So let's not forget that young people, many of whom were either COVID babies or COVID teens, they struggle with, how do you make real social connections? Real social connections are different than Zoom connections. So it's great, Jessica, that we're having this Zoom conversation, and I feel like I'm getting to know you, which is great, and hopefully you feel the same. Maybe we'll have another conversation as a result of that. But being able to hug someone or touch them or just make eye contact, totally different experience. 

So here's what I learned from the research I did for Ageless Aging. That is, yes, social connections in-person, incredibly important. But there are two different kinds. One is those close in, those relationships that really matter to you—your spouse/partner, if you have one, your best friend, your group of friends and family that are very close in. By the way, a study that we did at Age Wave very recently told us that the number one way people felt a sense of purpose was spending time with family and friends. So it really does matter. But it doesn't have to be like eight hours a day, it doesn't have to be 30,000 people. It can be three or four people that you really relate to and relate to well. But then there's those little further out—maybe it's acquaintances, maybe it's even people that you have very loose ties with. Like, for instance, when you go to Starbucks or wherever you go, if you get coffee in the morning, making eye contact, and maybe even learning the name of the barista, having a little bit of: Hey, how you doing? So those interactions, believe it or not, actually count, and can help make your life better. So there's the loose ties and the closer in ties, both of which are really important.

Thank you for spelling that out. Well, let's pivot towards the intimate and really nurturing the quality of that relating in spouse partnership. What would you like to say here?

Well, I think that not everyone has a spouse/partner, and those of us who do, not all of those relationships are happy ones. But the ones that do work, generally have a few commonalities. One of them is that they have respect for each other's time together and time apart. So you don't have to be connected at the hip all the time, particularly as you live a longer life. So that's an important thing to keep in mind. Second, you need to recognize that it's work. Relationships take work, and to think that they don't is crazy. A lot of people just assume: Oh, we're just going to go along. It's not going to work. So I think there's a variety of different techniques that psychologists like yourself suggest. 

One of them is something that my husband and I actually take part in, and we did this actually pretty just by instinct. When we got married, we both recognized that we lead very busy, active, sometimes crazy lifestyles, and that there are times that we're apart. So we agreed on two things. One, when we're apart, we're going to talk on the phone or via Zoom all the time. We honestly probably do it too often. My kids make fun of us because we talk two or three or sometimes four times a day, even when we're in the same town. So we like to stay connected, I think it's a good thing. 

Second, and I think that this has really been a lifesaver for our relationship, is that we have a ritual that we do every single year on our anniversary or around our anniversary, and that is that we renew our wedding vows. When we got married, we had so much fun that we said, almost as a silly thing: Hey, let's do this every year, and let's pick a different place and get the vows done by a different kind of entity every year. So that's what we decided we were going to do, and we have, every single year. But there's a few things about it that have been really interesting. One is that we do try to go to a different place, and sometimes, especially during COVID and after COVID, it's been pretty local. Second, we've involved some of our family and friends. We've got married by our kids, by our best friends, by someone we work with. So it's been interesting to see what they bring to the whole idea of marriage and what it means, especially over a long-term relationship. 

Third, one of the things that we really emphasize is, not only do we renew our wedding vows, but we also spend some time kind of talking about our relationship. Like, what went right, what went wrong, what we'd like to have be different for the next year. Sometimes it's been: Oh wow, everything is so great. Then other times it's been: Well, we have some work to do. Frankly, if we didn't have those moments to really debrief, if you will, then I don't think our relationship would have been as successful as it really is.

It's important to have those touch points and be able to, as you said, debrief. Because if we're not asking those questions, perhaps we're not going to glean the information. It's real learning that we can implement and be intentional about moving forward. Then I love just the intention to stay connected, and there's a rhythm and a pace which the two of you enjoy, and you've really found that together, which is really sweet, regardless of distance. Then I love the creativity with the vow renewal. I have a few more questions, if you're willing to share.

Oh yeah, for sure. I've got to tell you one thing, and I don't know if he would love me sharing this. But one year, we had a lot going on. We got married on Thanksgiving, which we did it very intentionally because it represented giving thanks for our relationship. But one year, because of our lives and our work commitments and such, we couldn't renew our vows until, like, say, January. I would say, putting it off that long had a very negative effect. So we don't do that anymore, we really recognize the importance of having this ritual be close to our anniversary.

That's beautiful. When is your anniversary, if you don't mind me asking?

We got married on Thanksgiving Day, originally. So rather than thinking about it as that was November 24th, which it was, we think about it as Thanksgiving Day, which is different every year.

That's beautiful. It sounds like you have a lot of creativity in how you give room and space for the vow renewal. Is that right?

Oh yeah, we do. We've done some crazy things.

When you solicit someone to support in officiating or leading, if you will, do you give them full rein, or do you give them any points of which you want to focus on?

No, we give them full rein, and you would be shocked at the various ways that people interpret the wedding vows.

Okay, so it's more to renew, if I'm understanding, your love and your commitment and your devotion to one another, rather than specific things you're going to be implementing throughout that next year. 

Yeah, we keep that personal between the two of us.

That makes sense. Do you ever have friends or family protest around or have resistance around like: Ah, again? Or do they just know, and they think it's sweet and they're super joyful about it?

I'm sure a lot of people roll their eyes, but they don't roll their eyes in front of us. In fact, I think that the more we do it, the more people say: “Yeah, you know what? That's a lot, every single year. But it seems to be working.” And we've had a lot of friends, whether they be close in or a little bit further apart from us, that have instituted a similar kind of ritual in their lives—maybe every five years, or every 10 years, or maybe just once or twice again. But that have said: Yeah, let's renew our wedding vows, let's let the world know that this relationship really matters. That's part of what we're doing.

I was curious about that. I can feel how, conversely, it would be inspiring or evoke interest in others, that that's a really good model, to be really prioritizing the renewal or the vow or the commitment and love, and the celebration of that and the intention around that. 

Yeah, think that there's another thing to think about with this. That is, again, not everyone is married, especially in long-term relationships, or living a long life. It doesn't always happen. But even celebrating a friendship. If you've been friends with someone for many years, and you feel like you want to create a ritual around that, maybe that's something that you ought to do. 

Funny you mention that. In 2022, my best friend, we've been friends for a very long time, she was saying we're going to be celebrating 40 years. So we did a trip to Maui. Her mother was very generous and donated, really sponsored, mostly the whole thing. So it's like such a blessing and a privilege to have had that experience. But it was a 40-year friend-iversary, is was what we were calling it.

Yeah, that's great. That's the kind of examples that I think we need to provide to other women, and men, by the way. I mean, men ought to give it a try as well, because these things go deeper. Studies show us that they may seem superficial, like: Oh, we're just doing something for fun. But they have deeper meaning that actually impact our epigenetics, or that's what turns the good genes on and turns the bad genes off. It's kind of crazy, but it's true.

Well, it makes a lot of sense. Because while we might feel and believe things internally, what we are expressing or living into, as far as what we're creating with others in the experience, could just be a lot of business, a lot of being productive or purposeful, whether or not it's domestic, family, work, whatever the domains are. That to your point, it takes work, but it also takes investment and nurturing, and how do we continue to water and amend the soil and nourish and give the nutrients for growth? Part of what you're describing is to have these times where we really do that. It is so life-giving. It helps boost all the positive, as you're talking about, neurochemicals, the epigenetics of expressing, the DNA and ways that are more the positive, and how that is a positive cycle. It's generative. It helps build more, to your point, when we didn't do it, whether or not it was also the busy time and the stress of that perhaps. But that you noticed that there was an impact.

Oh yeah, absolutely noticed. I will tell you this, that I think that doing these kinds of rituals feeds into this whole idea of your positive attitude towards life and towards your own aging. 

Yes. I know we're winding down soon here, Maddy. Thank you for just acknowledging, I didn't mean to pivot so quickly. I feel what you're saying and how important to really experience and live the life of these positive, celebrating these moments and what's most important. Because, as you said, it's a missed opportunity, and we don't get to really fully experience that. 

So as we look at aging and longevity, I realize that perhaps when we talk about mindset and even other lifestyle choices, married or partnered, may not be in the same practices, and that might pose conflict. As I mentioned, my husband might be identifying with aging more, and I'm like, no! I'm just being playful; we don't really have a lot of conflict. But this can actually be more pronounced in some relationships where one is taking a real active, healthy attitude and making healthy choices, where the other one maybe does have certain health ailments and maybe is feeling more of not a positive mindset. What might you say around people who are experiencing this very differently, and how that affects intimate relationship, and what you might say about that?

Yeah, it's complicated. 

Show that person: Okay, what you're doing actually is having a negative impact on how long you're going to live and how well you're going to live, on your health span and your lifespan, and this is within your control. I mean, they may not realize those things. So pull out the science, I've got it in Ageless Aging. These things really matter. They make a difference. 

As you pointed out, some people in parts of the country, for instance, or people who haven't had the kind of health and lifestyle education that makes them believe in these things, they need proof. They need to know that, yes, there are things that you can do, things are in your control, and that there are a lot of different levers you can pull. Because it's not just about one thing, like diet or exercise. It's also this holistic bouquet of ingredients. That includes sleep. I mean, maybe that's a place for people to start. If you, for instance, wake up in the morning, and instead of just getting out of bed and getting going, you take 10 minutes to take in the sun rising. Suddenly, you start to recognize that: Wow, my circadian rhythms, they're being rebalanced, and I'm sleeping better at night. That happened to me, by the way. Sleep is not my superpower. But it has gotten so much better since I do wake up in the morning and spend that first 10 minutes looking at the sun and taking in the day. It makes a huge difference, and who would have thought something so simple could really impact my life? So they need to see the science. They need to know that: Sorry, you're wrong, you're doing the wrong things, and here's something that you can do to make it better.

Okay, I'm laughing because I know relational dynamics are a part of this.

Yeah, it's a little complicated, I get it.

Yeah. Because, look, as you're talking, I'm realizing this can take many forms, where, on one end, it's just this counterbalance and people are perhaps encountering new territory, and they're learning how to relate to experiencing more aging symptoms. Just that dialog in and of itself, partners will get on the same page. Or maybe one is taking a little bit more leadership in this proactive healthy stance, and the other is educating or providing information. Or just even modeling, and the other is like: Hmm, that sure seems to be working for them, and taking note, and then eventually they're incorporating it in their own way. Or more challenge would be if one is just not onboard and not interested in the other is, and that might be like: Look, I'm concerned! They still have choice, and then that's a painful experience, and then maybe getting a little bit more support around how to negotiate living.

That's more your territory than mine. However, I would add that when someone is struggling with their own aging, whether it's the physical or the emotional symptoms, those of us who are more onboard with you have agency over your health, and here's some things you could do, we need to show empathy also. We need to really empathize with what our partner or our friends are going through. I think by adding in that ingredient of empathy, it can make the “you need to make changes” message a little bit easier to take. 

Yeah, it's both. It's recognizing this isn't an easy territory, and there's a lot of feelings around it, and all this is also true.

That's right. So it's complicated, you're the psychologist here.

Well, you spend a lot of time in this area. You actually said you speak to a lot of people, and I don't think always everybody is on the same page.

No, there's no doubt that that's true. That's part of life, and negotiating that requires a skill set as well.

Well, wonderful. You've mentioned your book. Tell us a little bit about the title and what people might find by reading.

Yeah, this book is really focused on women. It's called Ageless Aging: A Woman's Guide to Increasing Healthspan, Brainspan, and Lifespan. I think it struck a chord for a couple reasons. It has become a national bestseller, which is really exciting. But when I was thinking about writing this book, I noticed, there's a lot of books on longevity, but there's none or very few that I saw that were focused specifically on women, and I wanted to change that. Because we both know, women and men are not the same. So I wanted to make that a priority. 

Second, what I noticed, and you've kind of alluded to this along the way today, and that is that there's a lot of books on sleep or exercise or nutrition. 

I mean, the idea that when you eat and what you eat can actually impact your sleep, and then if you sleep well. By the way, sleep is when we take out the trash, get rid of the toxins in our bodies. So if you're sleeping well, you're going to have more energy and vitality for exercise, and so on. And for social interactions. So these things work together, and there's a lot of levers we can pull to live better longer, and that's what we want to do. 

All these elements or ingredients, as you said, work together, so that it's supportive. We can hit more of these marks to support our longevity and health.

Yeah, and to recognize it's more in our control than we ever thought possible, and that's great news!

Yes. Well, for people who are wanting to get your book, is there a place that you would direct them? I'll make sure to have the link. I'm sure Amazon and every other place to get a book.

Sure, it's available wherever books are sold. But also, if you go to my website at MaddyDychtwald.com, I'm offering some free giveaways. If you were to order the book through Amazon or Barnes and Noble or whatever, there's some great resources that can help you, especially when it comes to brain health and financial well-being. People don't always talk about finances being part of this holistic recipe to live better longer. But in fact, it definitely is, and it's kind of a shortcut. So feel free to go to my website. Jessica, I'm sure you'll put it up on your show notes.

I absolutely will. Is there anything else you want to direct people towards on your website or point out? I mean, the book sounds like a real distillation of this comprehensive, holistic offering of research.

Yeah, there's a lot of tips and tricks, some of which, or many of which don't cost a penny, and are not that hard to put into place. So I would urge everyone, because we're all getting older, to try to not just live longer, but live better.

Wonderful. Well, thank you for joining us today. It's been a pleasure to have you.

Thank you, Jessica. I've enjoyed it too.

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