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Ever feel like your to-do list is running your life and you barely have any energy left for what matters most—like connecting with loved ones or just enjoying the moment? In our fast-paced world, we often believe productivity comes from pushing ourselves harder, burning the candle at both ends, and tackling more tasks. But what if the key to a happier, healthier life starts before you even get to your goals and conversations—right in the foundation of your daily rhythms and body awareness?

In this episode, you’ll discover why tuning into your body’s core needs is the missing link for emotional safety, deeper relationships, and true productivity. The conversation unveils science-backed strategies and ancient wisdom to help you manage your energy, regulate your nervous system, and build habits that become second nature. You’ll also explore personalized approaches to self-care—so you can stop the cycle of burnout and perfectionism, cultivate more resilience, and create space for meaningful connections every day.

Hadlee Garrison, MPH, is a holistic Health Counselor, behavior change expert, podcaster, and speaker. She’s the creator of the Happy Healthy Habits coaching program, where she helps women optimize their energy levels, regulate their nervous systems, and heal their relationship with their bodies and themselves. With degrees in Biopsychology and Health Education from the University of Michigan, as well as training in Ayurveda, Hadlee blends evidence-based science with holistic modalities to help her clients thrive.

Episode Highlights

04:43 Struggling with body image, emotional eating, and disconnection in early life.

08:40 Discovering Ayurveda and mind-body practices for emotional safety.

12:32 The link between nervous system capacity and relationship conflict.

13:52 Building foundational health habits: Circadian rhythms, sleep, and energy management.

19:27 Prioritizing a consistent bedtime for optimal health.

20:35 How personal health habits impact relationship dynamics.

26:22 Energy archetypes: Understanding personal stress patterns.

34:49 Taking small steps and automating self-care habits.

41:39 Oil massage and physical self-love practices for nervous system regulation.

44:13 Resources for discovering your energy archetype and connecting with Hadlee.

Your Checklist of Actions to Take

• Prioritize consistent sleep: Go to bed at the same time every night to support healthy circadian rhythms and overall well-being.
• Establish a simple morning routine: Create morning habits that energize you—this doesn’t mean a lengthy ritual, but something that helps you feel awake and grounded.
• Identify your energy drains and boosters: Pay attention to which tasks or activities drain your energy and which ones replenish it, adjusting your schedule accordingly.
• Automate foundational habits: Focus on making your basic self-care and wellness routines so automatic that they require little mental energy to maintain.
• Start small with new habits: If you’re building a new habit, begin with manageable baby steps to ensure consistency and avoid burnout or overwhelm.
• Incorporate nervous system regulation: After foundational habits are in place, introduce practices like breathwork or somatic exercises, but only as needed—not all day, every day.
• Ask for support from your partner: Communicate with your partner about what helps you regulate—this might be a gentle touch, a walk together, or another soothing gesture during conflict.
• Customize your self-care: Recognize your personal energy archetype and tailor your wellness strategies—whether you need more grounding, invigoration, or soothing—based on your unique tendencies.

Mentioned

Energy Archetype Quiz (link) (quiz)

12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)

Connect with Hadlee Garrison

Websites:happyhealthyhadlee.com

YouTube:youtube.com/@happyhealthyhadlee

Instagram:instagram.com/happyhealthyhadlee

TikTok:tiktok.com/@happyhealthyhadlee

Podcast:open.spotify.com/show/0LxN092Z5rbC7Hg6OsACcJ |podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/holistic-inner-balance-natural-mental-health-podcast/id1506869161

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Episode Transcript

Hadlee, thanks for joining us. 

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited for this conversation. 

Me too. And we've already met when I was on the show that you co-host, and we've been looking forward to this interview for a while. We're going to be talking about the physical sense of emotional individual safety, how that correlates with creating relational safety, how this relates to energy management, and how we can build habits both for an individual but also in the relational context that supports the safety and energy management. So I'm looking forward to this. You want people to know you? Is there anything about how these particular topics became of interest? 

Oh, yeah. So when I was coming of age, growing up, I grew up in a family that was very into personal development, that was very into health and wellness. But I had a really tough relationship with food and my body, and I felt like I couldn't even follow through on any of the health things. I had a lot of knowledge about what you were “supposed to do for your health.” And my friends would come to me for advice on what they should do for their health and all that kind of thing. 

You were a proficient coach. But when. 

Yeah, yeah, not necessarily doing it myself. And there was a lot of perfectionism, all or nothing for me, a lot. I wanted to be the best at whatever I did. And from when I was 10, I didn't like my body. I didn't like how my body looked. I was also emotionally eating. When I was 10, looking back now, I was such a sensitive kid. But even my family of origin, like the label of sensitivity, actually went to my sister, and I was looked at as not that sensitive. And so there was a lot. There was a lot there. And I was actually very effective in getting rid of or just suppressing my emotions with eating, with turning to food. 

So I was really disconnected from my body, my emotions, all the things, because I would turn to food and different things to numb out. I read a lot as a kid, and my parents would be like, Hadlee, 

And so there was a lot tied up in my health, how I looked, all of that kind of thing. And by the time I was in college, I was really struggling with this stuff because there's not a lot of structure in college. There are classes at different times. 

I went to the University of Michigan, and the motto there is kind of “work hard, play hard, no rest involved.” It was “work hard, play hard, and have fun.” And there wasn't much to care about. And by the time I was there, I was like, 

“Okay, I know all of this stuff. Why am I not doing it? And I would try, I would be on the wagon and then fall completely off the wagon, and on and off.” 

And it was exhausting. It was so exhausting. And so I decided to actually go. I was studying biopsychology, cognition, and neuroscience as an undergrad. And I decided to go to college, grad school for public health, and specifically to study behavior change science, health behavior, and health education. Because I was like, I want to figure this out again. 

I know what I should be doing for my health, but I'm not doing it. And I started talking to people, and they were like, yeah, same. Like, I don't know why I'm not doing the things that I know I need to be doing for myself. And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. And that's why I went to school for that, specifically, and learned all about 

“Why we do what we do, why we don't do the things that we know are good for us, why we do the things that we know aren't good for us,” 

all of those things. And came out with a degree in that and started helping people with not just what to do for your health, because we get enough of that, right? 

If you're on Instagram, if you're on social media, or even like podcasts, you probably learn about the “what to do.” But my passion has actually helped you do it. 

So with that degree, were you able to apply it to being able to integrate the learning and support your system? 

Totally, yeah. So that paired with the coaching certifications that I've gotten. So I've gotten several coaching certifications as well. I was able to integrate the coaching part of things and then the behavior change science, which was a little bit more academic and less applied. So I kind of brought both of those things into my work, the coaching and the behavior change science. 

I'm super interested in how you're going to support us because I love having evidence-based, just understanding, and how to make it actionable practices. And when you're sharing a little bit more about your experience, one of the ways I'm interpreting it is in your family system. It wasn't quite visible to your sensitivity. So perhaps the support or the validation was going to your sister. And then you were seemingly coping well right from the outside. 

Yet internally there was still a lot of ways in which as you said, you were kind of tamping down or even suppressing and so really coming to a place around, I really want to support my system to not be maybe needing to cope in these ways or just the kind of what's interfering the blocks that interfere with the things that I'm really wanting and also how I'm really experiencing life. So was there an emotional component? 

Oh yes. 

Okay, great. 

Absolutely. And I realized I was introduced to Ayurveda in college. Actually, my mom introduced me to Ayurveda. She's wonderful. She just didn't know I was going through all this stuff. And I found that there was a huge emotional component, but I wasn't able to access the emotional component until I was tuned into my body. And so that's where I love to bring in the somatic stuff, as far as I love to bring in, like the ancient wisdom of Ayurveda and different ancient traditions that are similar around the world, which is so cool. And then I also love to bring in the very Western modern science, evidence-based stuff, and pair those things together because I always look at it as both.

So let's focus on those things that they're both saying are true. And I find that when we focus on those things, that's when we kind of unlock the safety, the nervous system, regulation, and the feelings of safety in ourselves and in relation. 

Oh my goodness. Okay, I want to dive. Before I ask my first question, I want to just reflect. I'm sure this fits that a lot of times, as you mentioned, maybe perfectionism or the intellect that we approach our lives through this intellectual frame, which I think has value. So I don't want to take away the goals or strategies or visioning, and also, we can somehow be convinced that we can override. I think a lot of people feel that they should be able to “will themselves to override their nervous system, not get triggered or activated.” And yet always. I never say always and ever, but always, “the nervous system will be in the driver's seat. We're just wired up, we're humans, we're animals. Our system. Survival.” 

Yes, yes. Oh my gosh, I'm so passionate about this because my parents were really into the personal development mindset. And like, “only you can control your emotions.” They're very into like Tony Robbins, and that was the time, we weren't talking as much about somatic work and nervous system regulation and all of that kind of thing at that time. It was all very mental and a mindset approach. And I love learning about like metaphysical stuff and like manifestation, and I think that stuff is interesting, but I get frustrated because I'm like, “if you don't have some of these basic habits and wellness things down, you can do all the mindset work you want, but your nervous system will not catch up to that.”

You have to start with the body, like you really do. And then you can have fun with all the mindset work and do all that stuff, which I love. But we have to really go into the body and the physiology and the habits that can support us there. The structure that can support us in our physiology can be the thing that opens us up to be able to live the mindset and work all the time. Because otherwise we're going to be having to do mindset work all day, every day. Well, they're related, right? 

They're interconnected, and we can't just ignore the body. And I'm hearing your strong emphasis on just the importance. So, as we pivot here, looking at the nervous system and that being a huge contributor, as we look at relationships, being a bit more available for connection or even negotiating conflicts more skillfully, can you talk to us a little bit about the importance of regulating and tuning into the body and the nervous system? 

Totally. Well, I think your listeners, when they think about when they've had the most conflict in their relationships, you can kind of think about, “okay, where were you? How were you feeling before that happened?” Were you at the brink of just kind of at the edge of feeling fried with your nervous system feeling just like everything feels hard and stressful, and so likely that's usually the case. Not always. Not always. Like, sometimes it's something that just triggers something from way back, and that will just move that conflict forward. But a lot of times when we're in conflict, it's because we're kind of at the edge of our capacity. So

And so I start with the body and our habits, and I find that there's a lot of amazing nervous system work out there, that there are practices that we can do somatic things, like body-based things, which I do with my clients. But I actually like to start even before all of that. I like to start with circadian rhythm habits, just getting the habits of the nature of your body down first. And then all the other nervous system regulation stuff comes a lot easier. 

You don't have to be doing nervous system practices all day, every day. Again, like mindset work. 

It's like, “Do I need to be doing breath work all day long?” Right. 

And when we have some of these basic health habits down first, it's like it opens us up, and it makes us have resilience and adaptability. And I call it emotional agility more than just resilience. Because sometimes people think of resilience as just having kind of like armor up. And that's not what I want. I actually want the armor like down, but having a strong enough core to be able to flow with. So the agility piece, flow with the emotions that you have and work with them skillfully to be able to have the kind of relationships that you want to have. 

I love this. Let's break this down. If you're open to giving us some examples. When you say circadian rhythms, I'm thinking of sleep and so talk to us. Can you give us some more examples around how somebody can be tracking their system, both from a nervous system, but overall, these fundamental pieces that you're referring to? Cause I mean, just before you answer this, I'm aware that many of us are focused on our agenda or our to-do list or our goals or our tasks as a parent or a professional. And it does take a bit of shifting attention inward and paying attention. So talk to us here. 

Okay. I have so many things. So yes, so you bring up the to-do list. And I find that just reminds me of a lot of times people ask me about time management. They're like, I need better time management. And I'm like, 

Some things that we have on our to-do list actually give us more energy. And so if we can get clearer on what things we are doing throughout our day that drain our energy, what things actually give us more energy. So not all things on the to-do list are created equal as far as energy. But not all rest is created equal. 

So things that you consider resting, those actually might drain you more, depending on the person. Like, for some people, at a certain point in time, sitting and watching Netflix for two hours is actually going to give you more energy. Like, it's going to replenish your energy, and for some people, it's going to drain your energy more. And so, it depends on the context and stuff too. But I really like to start with how we work with our energy levels, and kind of think of it as we can kind of think of it more as a game, so that it's not so serious. Sometimes we think of health and wellness and all of those kinds of things. Like, we have to take this very seriously, and we have to prioritize it and all that kind of thing. 

And then the other thing that you were saying in there is you were talking about how we have to go internal, we have to kind of turn the focus internal and be more essentially intentional. Right. About our life, and just even noticing. 

Right. Like, I think so many of us have this, like, I'm a machine attitude when I'm not like everyone else. Maybe I need a customized plan. 

Yes, totally. And so I have, I'll talk about this at the end, but I have this framework of energy archetypes, and we all have different types essentially. And so everyone's going to need something different at different points in time, and all of that kind of thing. And so that's what I help my clients with, is like, how do we actually do this for you? But I want to also mention, like, with these habits, sometimes we think of being on autopilot in our life as being a bad thing. And I do want to say that with these habits, my goal is actually to get them on autopilot for you. So 

Totally. 

Things that actually set you up for a regulated nervous system, and like all of that kind of thing. And we can still tweak those habits based on what we're experiencing at some point in our lives. And everything but getting these circadian rhythm habits, which I'll go into with more specific examples there. But getting those things automated is my goal for my clients. Because I've had clients who actually, one of my very first clients, she was like, 

“I think about health and what I should be doing for my health so much, and she's like, I think about my body and food and all the things so much that if I were to put all of that mental energy that I think about that stuff into. If I were to put that into curing cancer, I could have cured cancer by now.”

So, again, I don't. My goal is for people to think about their health as little as possible so that they can free up their mental energy and capacity and bandwidth for their relationships and for their juicy life, essentially. So, all of that to say, the circadian rhythm habits that I'm talking about, people have probably heard of circadian rhythms, and they probably think about sleep mostly. Right. But there's a lot that goes into our circadian rhythms. Essentially, your circadian rhythm is the nature of your body as it relates to the sun. So the sun comes up every morning, goes down every night, and those times actually change throughout the year. 

So a lot of the work that I do with my clients is seasonality, too, and shifting habits around. Just tweaking them a little bit based on the season, once we have them automated. So obviously, sleep is a big thing here, and we do a lot of sleep hygiene things. So one thing I'll say is that getting to bed at or around the same time every night is one of the most important things that you can do for your health overall. And I would say. So getting to bed at the same time every night, not necessarily getting to bed as early as possible, though I do like to have my clients get to bed at a reasonable hour, because our body starts to detox and do all the things it needs to do by around 10 pm if we're asleep by then. 

But some people have later sleep times, and that's perfectly fine too. There are different chronotypes and that kind of thing. But getting to bed at the same time every night, rather than being like, “okay, tonight I'm gonna get to bed early,” and then the next night, “I'm gonna get to bed two hours later,” and then the next night, “I'm gonna try to get to bed early again.” That's not what we want. So bedtime is really important. And then what we do in the morning is also very important for our circadian rhythms. And now I'm not telling you that you need to have a four-hour morning routine or anything like that, but I work a lot on what we need to do to make it so that you feel awake in the morning. 

Now we start the night before because sometimes people are like, “Oh, I'll just wake up earlier, and then I'll get to bed earlier tomorrow night.” That's not how sleep works. Like, if we're trying to get to bed earlier, we need to just tweak it like 15-minute increments at a time. That's how sleep works. But then we go into how we make it so that our morning routine gives us the kind of energy that we want to have. And our morning routine can make it so that we also fall asleep more easily at night based on our circadian rhythms. So there's a lot there. And then also exercising throughout the day is very important for our circadian rhythms. So we do those very basic habits before we even go into nervous system regulation, emotional agility, and even nutrition. Right? 

We focus on all that stuff before that. And I find that once my clients get the first four habits down, their life changes exponentially. Even if they were pretty good about it before, it's wild. So that's where we start. 

I appreciate that it's so fundamental to our well-being. And I think oftentimes we get creative or play around, right? Oh, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Or you know, these types of things. 

Yes, that work hard, play hard mentality. Yeah, totally. 

And I can appreciate the propensity for that, especially in more Western culture, and just maximizing, optimizing, and what can you fit in a day? And people who even feel some level of anxiety, or like I have a client, I work with a couple, and she's a physician, and she just has a pattern. If I don't work hard, I can't actually relax at night. Like, I can't actually feel like it's like this guilt or something, like “I haven't done enough.” And that's a productivity marker that I appreciate is important. And also, it's not perhaps ironic. And she's a physician, right? And that this is turning towards. I like to use that analogy. I'm sure you've heard of this great rock, right? 

Prioritizing the really important things in our life and our system that, as you're saying, gives structure to our rhythms, our energy that supports our regulation, that supports our agility, that supports just our energy and also our capacity for our relationship or being in the world in a way that we want to make a difference. 

Totally. I always say that. 

But having structure with your habits specifically creates more creativity, more capacity, more bandwidth. This client that you're referring to, if you start with the rest now, we can also rest. So I wanna make that very clear. Like, we can overrest, and that can be draining. So that's a thing. We'll put that aside for now. The paradox is that the more you take care of yourself and you do these basic circadian rhythm habits and taking care of yourself, the more productive you actually are. And so a lot of times we think we can kind of convince our minds, can kind of convince us of anything. Right. We're like, “I just need to push through. I need to do more, do more.” If you had the rest and you had the kind of habits down that you needed, and they were automated so you didn't have to think about them a ton, you would have more capacity, and you would be able to move quicker. And your brain, your executive functioning, is actually improved. And you can do much more in less time. And they've actually done studies. There's research on when you don't get enough sleep. Everyone who didn't get enough sleep in these studies thought that they were not impaired at all, which is terrifying. Especially “driving”. That's really scary. But people literally thought they were not impaired at all. And the research shows that indeed, once they went through different, like, exercises and stuff, they were impaired for sure. 

Their executive functioning was impaired by not getting enough sleep. And so truly, truly, we have to prioritize these things if we want to be, like, optimizers, you've got to do this stuff, this is the key. 

Yes. Which might go against some of the initial training. Right. Like, I'm very much supportive of the medical profession. And I also have friends and clients who are physicians, and just what they go through and what's required as far as sleep deprivation. It's just quite astounding that it doesn't seem so counterproductive for one's health and well-being. 

So, as it relates, would you be? 

Want to share a bit about how this can start to impact relational dynamics? 

Totally. Yes. So you can look back again at conflict and think about, “all right, when I wasn't getting enough sleep, was I grumpier? Was I more irritable? Was I more triggerable? Right?” The answer is typically “YES”, if you have a decent amount of self-awareness, right? Which your listeners do, right? Because they listen to you. So you can kind of see this for yourself, where, when we're not taking care of ourselves as individuals, it's going to leak out into all areas of our lives, and especially in relationships, because that's where we get the most triggered, right? Is in relationships. 

Even if it's work, it's usually a work relationship, like, dynamic. 

And so, my clients, I often find that once they start to do the work that I do with them, they find that they are much more resilient. They're able to kind of take that bird's-eye view. So we always talk about when in terms of emotions and communication, and that kind of thing, we want to take more of that bird's eye view, look at ourselves and what's going on with our own dynamic of our emotions, how they're being triggered, and all of that kind of thing. And then also looking at our partner or whoever we're relating to. But if we don't have the health stuff down, we don't have as much capacity to be able to take that. We're more myopic. Like, we have that tunnel vision of like, “I'm right, I'm right, I'm right.” There's no broader view that I can take here. 

When we just don't have as much bandwidth and capacity. That's just where our tendency is going to go. Now we want to do both because we also, that there are going to be times in our life where we don't have as much capacity. Right. And so we want to do the work of being able to relate with our partner even when we don't have capacity. But the more we can build that capacity, the better, right? The more we're going to be able to create a foundation of safety with our partners. Yes. 

I mean, when you're talking about feeling triggered or even tunnel vision, I'm hearing more of the fight, flight, or freeze reaction in the nervous system. And also, what we know about that typically is that so many of our faculties are not available to us because all of the energy and blood is going towards either extremities to run or fight, or just even shut down. Like, we are not actually operating. A lot of things are offline. Right. We're in a very limited way of functioning. 

Totally. And it's interesting, the energy archetypes that I talk about, your tendency when you're triggered typically relates to your energy archetypes. So if you have more of the leisure enthusiast archetype, which tends toward more resting, but that rest can actually be more draining, your tendency might be more to shut down in the face of conflict and just kind of like “head in the sand ostrich,” like just avoid. If you have more of the tendency toward the burnt-out goal getter, that's another one of the archetypes. You've got more fire in your type, and you might tend toward more of the fight, the irritability, the grumpiness, the like, “I just want to attack here.” Right. And if you have more of the whirlwind, that is more of the tendency of being anxious. I need to figure this out now. 

Need to figure it out, need to figure it out. Anyone can go into any of those archetypes, but typically, we have one that is the most prominent for us. And so I utilize Ayurveda and the Doshas and help to balance some of those things. So if you have more of that fire in your constitution, there are things that we can do in terms of practices and even like foods that we're eating that can help to balance your fire and like calm down that fire so that you aren't as irritable, grumpy, frustrated, wanting to control everything. 

If that's your tendency, would you give or use some examples of how to work with at least? I know you've said you have five, but the three that you've listed. 

Oh yeah. So I. So there's three. There are three energy archetypes. They're influenced by five elements in the Ayurvedic tradition. 

Okay, got it. 

Yes. So the fire, I'll just call it the fire archetype. That one. If we want to balance that out, we gotta think of cooling, soothing. And because the fire archetype is more like controlling and wanting to have that type, everything needs to be a certain way, a kind of attitude, which we also want to bring into play. So those are the three things the fire one tends to take themselves very seriously. And I say this, that's my archetype. And I have to laugh a lot. 

And so what we want to do is soothing, cooling, and playing. And so play, obviously, has to do with bringing more fun into your life. But the soothing and cooling can be practiced. It can be like just getting in the water, like splashing cold water on your face. Especially during the summer when it's hot. And literally, tempers are also up when it's hot out. There are also foods we can eat that help cool us. Like cucumber, watermelon, things that you think of as more summer foods or tropical foods like coconut are really cooling. Those kinds of things can be helpful too for cooling us down, which is awesome. So that's an example of that fire archetype. Yeah. 

Do you have a question? And is there anything that a significant other might be able to support when you say soothing? Because I mean, just when somebody's in a fight, it's so easy to get defensive or want to, like, yes, match it. And what you're really suggesting is bringing some cooling energy to the dynamic. 

Can you ask such a good question? Yes. And I have an answer for this because I have to do this with my husband. We both have the fire archetype as our most prominent one. I have asked him to put a hand on my heart. So just come to me, put a hand on my heart. And well, he has asked me to ask him in those circumstances, is your heart open for me? I'm like, it's gotta be body-based for me. Like, it's gotta be somatic. So, like, put your hand on my heart. Cause I can twist. If you ask me something mental, I will twist it. And I'll be like, yeah, my heart's open. But is your heart, you know, just like mine. It's gotta be body-based for me. 

So I've asked him to do that, and it works like a charm every time he comes. 

More honest answers from the body. 

Exactly, exactly. It immediately makes me think, “Oh, I'm out of my mind. I'm into my body, I'm in my heart.” And that's the most. That's the antidote to the fire for sure. It's just like, okay, getting in the heart because the fire is in the mind. Right? Like wanting to control things, and that's all in the mind. And so when we can get into the heart. That can be really effective, and so it can be different for everyone again. Like my husband and I do something different for each other, and that's another thing, is that we don't think that it has to look the same for you and your partner.  

And even to observe. 

Right. I've noticed that when my husband and I take a stroll around the neighborhood, it is so supportive of his system. And I. We've been together almost 20 years, and I have just become even that much more crystallized without us talking. Because some people have a hard time articulating, sometimes noticing. But he has been able to tell me that, just like a gentle kind of touch on the arm and or back, just saying it's gonna all be okay or something like that, a very soothing comment. So I do think it's important to prompt and just have the opportunity to learn more about what would feel good.

Yes, yes, exactly. 

Do you wanna name the other two just for people? 

Yeah, for sure. So then there's the leisure enthusiast who, we love these people; they're like the teddy bear. They're the kind of person who, if you're struggling, you want a hug from them. They're amazing. They're super caring. And their like shadow side, the tendency is to over rest or rest in ways that don't actually serve them, that don't actually like to bring their energy up. And we can all do that. But this person has more of that tendency. That's my secondary tendency. So I feel like I tend to do the burnout thing and then fall into this, where it's like now I can never move again, and I'm on the couch, and I'm never moving again. Right. And there's like an overfullness here. There's a tendency for overindulging in eating, with different numbing practices. 

Like I was talking about at the beginning of this call, even reading can be numbing. We think of reading as good, but everything can be good, and everything can also be unhelpful. So what we want to think of here is like invigorating. So what things are actually going to make me feel more invigorated here? And lightness, we really want to bring lightness here. Because there's a heaviness, there's a density with this type. And so if you're resonating with this type, bringing in lightness, bringing in like an invigoration of things, and then spontaneity can also be helpful here. So we're talking about how structure is really helpful. This type. We still want to bring some spontaneity. So. So if you're doing the same thing every single day, we do want to bring in some different things. 

And surprise yourself, surprise your partner if they are more into this, like, okay, we're going to go do this right now. And they might have some resistance to it, but then they might be like, thank you so much for helping me with this. Yes, I do that. As I said, this is my secondary tendency. And my husband's secondary tendency is the whirlwind one that we'll get to. And so when he can drag me out of this and get me to go do something fun together, that is great for me. 

Nice. I love that. I love that. 

Yeah. 

And self-activation is hard when one's in this kind of state. So, is there any small move that one can do individually? 

Yeah, totally. I would go with something very small. Because we want to honor where we are, too. We want to meet ourselves where we are. And not a lot of times, people who I work with who have this tendency are like, okay, I need to do high intensity interval training workouts so that I can figure. And I'm like, no, then you're going to fall back into this hard. Like you're not gonna do that and then go, you know, that would be the energy management. Yeah, that's all. And then you're gonna fall back into nothing. So let's just do a little teeny tiny step. Like, I literally had a client who had such low energy. She would wake up in the morning, work as much as she could. She would work from bed. She literally had no energy. 

It was, it was super sad. And she had all these, like, she's a wonderful person, and she had all these big dreams and goals and passions and stuff, but she just had no energy. And she was like, okay, I'm learning about Ayurveda, and Ayurveda says that I need to do more of the invigorating practices and stuff. And I'm like, “Well, hang on, hang on here.” Because when you do that, you are kind of perpetuating this cycle of all or nothing. And so she was in her bed as much as she could be. We started. I was like, all I want you to do is get up out of bed in the morning, not go do a high-intensity workout, go sit somewhere else, and meditate. That's all. 

Just get out of bed, and you can sit somewhere. You could even lie on the ground, whatever. But let's start there. And so we really, really do want to meet ourselves where we are in that and take those baby, baby steps. That's what creates automation, too. 

And that's what I was trying to do for like 10 years of my life, is overhaul everything. Oh, it's the new year. Oh, well, I'm gonna wait till Monday, and then I'll start, and I'll overhaul everything. Once that happens, I'll start. But when we can just start really small. So take stock. You know, when people who are listening right now take stock. Where are you right now in this? Maybe you're not so depleted that you're like in bed all day, but are you working out? Like, some days? Maybe you can just return it. I'm gonna move my body every day for five minutes or one minute. Really, like super small. And we can build on that. 

Thank you. It's so important. And when you were talking earlier about building in and automating, I was reflecting on some of my very consistent self-care habits. And it's almost as if Hadlee carries me sometimes. 

Yes. 

And I'm just like, okay, I'm doing the thing. But it's like, it doesn't take a lot of activation energy because I've already got the groove, and I'm just kind of following the groove. 

Yes. 

I mean, sometimes I'm excited, and I want to do it, and other times I'm just like, oh, okay, I'm just doing it, and it's happening. But it's like part of my normal rhythm. 

Totally. Yes. So I have been talking to my clients recently because they're like, I have so many people tell me, you know, if they've lost weight or if they start seeming happier to people that they're friends with or that they're in a relationship with. They're like, they keep telling me that they're so proud of me and that it must have taken so much willpower and motivation. And they're like, it hasn't, though. They're like, No, I was using willpower and motivation before I started working with Hadlee. And now the paradox is that, like I'm not now, but it's actually effective now. 

Yes, yes. 

I love what you said about where it's carrying you. And that's my goal, is that the net expenditure of energy with these habits that I work on with my clients is that you actually get more energy from them. So maybe you're expending a tiny bit of energy, and that drains your energy levels a little bit, but the net effect is that it's actually increasing your energy because the energy that you're putting in is so low, because it's automated. Just there. 

Yes, yes. I'm not saying I have my whole life dialed in, but I have a few things. Okay. So I don't want to lose. For people who are super curious about the third one. 

Yes, totally. So this is our depleted whirlwind. And so for those of us who have more in the elements that it carries in Ayurveda are the elements like wind and air, and space. So this is the kind of person that is going, going all the time, that really wants to make things happen and might get really distracted, really easily. Might be like “ping-ponging” all over the place essentially. And if they have a really depleted phase, they might kind of crash. And their tendency to crash is more like a hollow, empty kind of feeling. Whereas the leisure enthusiasts, there's like an over-fullness there, like feeling heavy and dense. The depleted whirlwind is more of a weak feeling, a hollow feeling. Like I gave it away. Exactly, yes, you've given it everything away, and there's nothing left, essentially. 

So, what we want to do with that, what we want to think about there, is like building, nourishing, and structuring. Structure creates freedom. Again, these are the people who have this tendency are more like our creative types too. They have more of that, like that spontaneity, that creativity, that ability to see things that other people might not, like see patterns and different things that other people might not be able to see. And so these amazing things about this person, and they can get depleted really, really easily because they don't have as much of that, like that structure in place, and yeah, that grounding. And even their physiology tends to be a lighter physiology and stuff too. And so what we want is to do the things that can really ground us. 

So, whereas the leisure enthusiast might need someone to be like, let's do something spontaneous, this type needs to do less spontaneous things. 

And so if you have a partner who's more this way, you can support them in being like, “Oh, let's create some structure in our schedule.” Like, maybe we go to bed at the same time every night and just start with that. I find this type also sometimes has insomnia issues. And so going to bed at the same time every night is not their tendency. Like they tend to be everywhere. But when we can make it at the same time every night, that really helps with insomnia. There are other things that we can do for that, too, which I work on with my clients. But really bringing in, okay, grounding. How can we even do the hand on the heart for this type, too, could be really helpful. 

Or hand on the shoulders and push down so that you feel really like, “Oh, okay, yes, I'm here, I'm not.” 

In the present time, present space. 

I'm in my body, I'm on the ground. Here we are. Lying on the ground can also be great for this type. 

Or like feet, right foot contact, or just. 

Oh yeah, massaging the feet. If you want to support your partner this way, you can massage their feet. Actually, I have my clients massage their own feet before bed. If they're having insomnia, either falling asleep or if they tend to. It's really interesting. This has been like a no-fail thing for my clients. If they wake up in the middle of the night, if that's like their tendency, it's wild. That's not my tendency. So I haven't actually experienced this. But if they massage their feet before bed with oil, do an oil massage before bed. And that's one of the habits that I coach my clients into for nervous system regulation. 

Massaging their feet before bed with oil and then, like, maybe putting socks on or whatever so that the oil doesn't get all over the bed, that is like the number one thing that makes it so that they don't wake up in the middle of the night for whatever reason, it's super effective. 

I love that. 

Yeah. And speaking of which, the self-massage with oil, big believer in that for all of the types, but especially for this type to really ground down your nervous system. In Ayurveda, the word for oil, the Sanskrit word for oil, which is the language of Ayurveda, you can kind of think of it as like how Latin was like the language for the original language in Greek and Latin culture and stuff. The Sanskrit word for oil is sneha. It is also the word for love. And I know, so sweet. 

If they have really critical ways of talking to themselves or whatever. That practice is a game-changer. 

Beautiful. And as we look at relational context too, just even being able to, if there's a part of the body for our partner, like how would it be a beautiful way to express love if we're in that place of being able to offer more of that. Hadlee, you've offered so much here. I'm so grateful for how actionable, how really you're trying to give people structure and habits that can be integrated into their lives so that it can support every domain, and particularly, I know we focused on relationships here, but how would you like to encourage people to get to know your work better? What would you like to do? 

Yes, absolutely. I mostly hang out on Instagram. That's my preferred social media. So DM me on there for sure. I love chatting with people. Like, relationships are kind of my favorite thing. I love building community, so DM me on there. I also offer free discovery sessions for people if you want to take it further and work with me. And so I can give you the link for that. And then my energy archetype quiz, if you're like, okay, I gotta figure out which type I am so that I can really take this to the next level. I have a quiz that I can give you to put in the show notes as well if you'd like. It's also in the bio on my Instagram. But then, once you take that quiz, I also have like a full library for each type. 

So all these resources are specific to each type. So you can go binge those resources as well. 

Oh my gosh. I will make sure to have the links to all that you've mentioned, your social media on Instagram, and the discovery call and the quiz for learning your energy archetype. And is this also on your website? 

Yes, yeah, my website is happyhealthyhadlee.com, so you can access all that there as well. 

I love it. Well, thank you again. It's been such a pleasure to have this conversation with you. 

Thank you for having me. It's always so fun to talk to you. 

Wonderful.