ERP 071: How To Use Sexual Energy To Improve Your Health And Relationship
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Dr. Jessica Higgins: Hi, thank you for joining today’s episode. Today’s episode is How To Use Sexual Energy To Improve Your Health and Relationships – episode 71. We are continuing the conversation with Sarina Stone.
Sarina Stone is an internationally renowned Medical Chi Kung (Qigong) instructor, Abdominal Massage expert, Natural Health Advocate and author of eight books.
After two decades of study in northern Thailand with Tao Master, Mantak Chia, Ms. Stone has developed multiple self-help tools for stress relief, conscious manifestation, physical health and longevity. Known for her light-hearted approach to health and wellness, Sarina Stone is a colorful, beloved speaker and educator across the globe. Sarina, welcome!
Sarina Stone: Hi!
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Hi, so glad to have you on again. For listeners who missed her first episode, I encourage you to check that out – this episode is How To Gain Emotional Balance In Your Relationship With Sarina Stone (episode 70), where she is really guiding us through the relationship between the mental and physical health and the importance of being in connection with your inner world, and the mind and the body connection. There’s so much wealth of information offered there that I think also sets the stage for this conversation nicely.
In that episode I was speaking to one of Sarina’s expertise, and one of the main reasons why I reached out to her is because I think this is such an important topic in our culture, that is how sexual energy affects our mental, physical and relational health.
Sarina, I guess that’s me setting the stage for this conversation, but where would you like to start with this topic?
Sarina Stone: Well, let’s tell people what it is that we’re really talking about, because with so many of these concepts, they sound very metaphorical or poetic. Sexual energy? What is that? It affects my physical health, really? My mental health, really? Sexual energy is affecting my relationship, really? So what is sexual energy? If that’s okay, let me start with this.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Yes, perfect.
Sarina Stone: So when I first began studying medical Chi Kung, a couple of decades ago – actually two and a half decades ago I started to study… That’s awful! [laughter] Actually it’s great, because I have the benefit of all these years of experience and watching other people on course; my studies for myself never end, my practice never ends. One of the things that I saw was that our belief system regarding sexuality and intimacy has a direct relationship with our sexual organs. In the Universal Healing Tao System, which is the association that I was educated through, there is a fair chunk of our education around the cultivation, cleaning, circulation and utilization of reproductive energy. To the naked eye it’s pretty clinical – it just says, “Hey, your body is making energy either to produce sperm, or to produce an egg to be fertilized every month. Or if you’re post-menopausal, you’re still creating the hormones, you’re still creating reproductive energy. You’re still a female, you still have the hormones being produced. If you’re not gonna use this energy that the body produces for reproduction, you could harness it, cultivate it, clean it, circulate it and use it for longevity.” And that actually, Dr. Jessica, is a huge attractor for our system, or for my work in general. Because as people get older – and these days in this country that means 40 – and they’re tired, and things in the bedroom aren’t working out so well, they’re seeking counsel. Well, pretty quick – within the first couple of months of starting practice, working with your educator or your teacher, learning how to cultivate this energy and do something with it, harness it, real quick we see that the emotions play a massive role.
To cut to the chase, to make this very simple, what we have learned is that reproductive energy by nature is neutral. That means it’s gonna go in and do something that’s not positive, not negative, it just has a function. It makes things grow in the physical body. So if you retain the energy… Let’s say you make it vibrate really high, like you’re getting close to an orgasm, that’s still reproductive energy. That is the body getting ready to either give away seed or receive it; it’s still reproductive energy. Let’s just say you can harness it and keep it inside your body, and that’s really where we’re going with the ability to stay young, use that for health and longevity. Unless you have an unhealthy situation, then you’re gonna grow that. If you have unbalanced emotions, you will grow that.
I’m not gonna take up all the time of this interview to tell you all the stories of the insane behavior I’ve seen from some of my students when they don’t take the right steps and get those emotions balanced first. They just want to get to the fun stuff, they wanna get to the sexy stuff, so they start retaining their sexual energy, circulating it, doing all this great stuff with it, and it grows the imbalanced mental situation. But in the Tao there really isn’t good, bad, right and wrong. We just say, “Oh look, you just did something so you can see what you need to work on. So back off, go back to Dr. Jessica or go back to your meditation or whatever you’re doing to balance out your emotions and get all the garbage up to the surface and cleaned out, and then you can go back and do your sexual energy work again.” It woooorks! So yeah, I digress a little bit…
Dr. Jessica Higgins: This is perfect. I think it’s giving some context and some paradigm around where you started your study and the real lineage of the power of this work, and being able to utilize that vital energy that’s life force energy, that you can actually direct it or can utilize it, and you’re saying it’s kind of like turning up the volume, but whatever operating system if you will, or whatever frequency you have, whatever song you’re playing and you’re turning up the volume, you’re gonna amplify that. And that awareness about it… You can’t just amplify and get all the juicy, sexy good stuff if you’re not playing the right song.
Sarina Stone: Wow, you’re good. Yeah, that’s a wonderful way to put it. I might have to plagiarize that one.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: [laughs] Feel free!
Sarina Stone: The way I usually say it, Dr. Jessica, is adding sexual energy to who you are on a conscious level is sort of like drinking a pot of espresso – you are definitely gonna grow whatever is in there. But actually I like your way better, it’s turning up the volume on who you already are.
It’s like dipping your toe in the water, isn’t it? You’re just gonna see where you’re at, and if you’re not physically and mentally feeling pretty good, then you’ll see what needs to be worked on, you take a step back, work on it, fix it, and then you go back into sexual energy practice again.
This stuff is life changing, and you’ve mentioned before that I don’t look my age, and I invite anybody to go online and take a look at the photos that I handed off to you for the web page – there’s no way that those are more than a year and a half old, and honestly if you saw me today, I actually think I feel and look better than I did in those pictures. Part of it is using and recycling that reproductive/sexual energy. If you look at those pictures… You know damn well I got really good at this at about 38. By 38 I had mastered it. I was able to control menstruation, I was able to harness orgasmic energy just using my mind, because I’d trained for so long physically that I would just think about it and Boom!, I could redirect the energy, the direction that the orgasm went – and now that I’ve said that, everybody wants to know what the heck that means… It means that I orgasm inward and sort of pushing the energy out. And you can tell, that clock stopped right there. It is one of the best things I ever did for my skin, hair and body.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Okay, so this is exciting on so many levels. This is exciting for one’s physical, personal health, but also the sexual health. I think I stated in my last episode with you Sarina that I in my experience feel like, and I also catch myself in this more often than I’d like to admit, that I’m distracted, I’m preoccupied, I’m disconnected with my body and my energy; so your work, I feel it’s so important. Then I also think that most Americans are exposed to a lot of messaging about sexuality that’s related to lust, which I don’t think is bad, but it’s not in my mind the full picture of sexuality. I think it’s just one small aspect. Or in relationship we have this romance phase, that’s a phase, and we glamorize that. That is for a lot of people one of the sources of education – I hate to say it because it’s entertainment, but a lot of people and their families don’t talk about sex; even in their couplehood, in their relationship, they don’t talk about or really get into the depth of sexual energy and health and overall well-being.
I think I said this in the last episode, that your wealth of knowledge – we’re not even gonna begin to even get the full breadth of what you have to offer, but I think your message around the health and what’s available for people is so important to communicate. I think that’s one of the big reasons why I wanted to offer this second episode with you. Do you want to speak to that, or would you like me to ask a question?
Sarina Stone: That was a lot! [laughter] Why don’t you ask me a question, because I don’t disagree with one thing that you just said. Actually, I was so busy listening I wasn’t formulating an answer. That was really well put, Dr. Jessica… Why don’t you ask me a question?
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Well, I’m thinking about for someone who might be in this neighborhood of not knowing what that looks like to be in connection with their sexual energy or their health… People that might fall into this category, where would you start with them? How could you make this accessible to them? What are some practical examples, or what does it look like?
Sarina Stone: Well, everybody has their own reason for seeking out an education regarding their sexual health or their ability to enjoy. Everybody has their reasons for beginning this journey. If you’re in love, connecting well with your partner and yourself, you’re not gonna be listening to material like this, you’re not gonna be seeking out something more, because you won’t feel the missing.
People who study Taoism, and in particular the sexual energy practices, most of the times they got into it because they don’t feel satisfied with life as it is, and the arena of sex and sexuality. They’re looking for something else. What I find really fascinating, Dr. Jessica, is that in the end it doesn’t really matter what country you’re in, what gender or sexual orientation I’m speaking to, in the end everybody’s looking for the same thing. Can you guess what it is?
Dr. Jessica Higgins: I want you to tell me, I’m more listening than I am…
Sarina Stone: It’s love. And look, I love entertainment. I’m a big movie girl, I love going to the theater, I love music, I love entertainment. But somehow we have lost this message about having sex to communicate and connect with somebody – a particular individual, for starters – because we want to connect with them. So in the Tao we can study for years to get what a couple who sincerely love each other has from day one, which is a true, energetic connection, where the two become one, at some point, and you can’t feel where one person ends and the other one begins.
Human beings are capable of this kind of connection. You can still hang from the chandeliers or wear costume or whatever… “We love sex, yaaay! We love trying new things” and that’s wonderful. It can be aggressive, it can be light, it can be whatever – it doesn’t matter. If there is a true loving connection between the people, then there’s always an element of pleasure and connection and needs being met inside of that, if both parties can be open and connect in this way.
Now, in our culture, even conservative men and women, old or younger, it doesn’t matter, they have been inundated with this message that a sexual release is good and is healthy with let’s say a ‘friend with benefits’. Somebody you like but not really love, somebody you don’t really share yourself with, but you can have sex and leave immediately, or maybe have a little chat, but definitely not somebody you wanna get really intimate with. Well, how do you expect to have great sex if you already know going into it you don’t wanna get really intimate? So a lot of my students – we’re starting there. This is the very, very, very beginning. Thinking that training… Oh my god, sex for homework? Really? [laughter] I just wanna call your mother right now… Oh my god! But then the adults come in… A lot of my clients are in their fifties, sixties, they’re widowers, divorced, whatever, and they’re trying to be modern and have these relationships that involve sex with people that they’re not particularly intimate with.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: I see it with younger folks, too…
Sarina Stone: Oh, yeah!
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Of course, but there’s this performance thing, where sex is more about…
Sarina Stone: Exercise? [laughs]
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Yeah, and how experimental can you be, and how skillful can you be technique-wise, and…
Sarina Stone: It’s ridiculous, and they expect these techniques to work when there’s no loving connection. Honestly, it just keeps people like me working. It keeps me in business, because it’s so obvious where the missing is…
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Well it’s not, though. I’m listening to you and I’m thinking about all the people – and even myself, at times, where I’m associating, and I think this is largely because… I don’t wanna blame culture because I also am receiving it and I’m participating in some respect, but there’s this association that sex is erotic. Not that it isn’t, but I think the thing that I’m pointing to here is that I think we sometimes lose our way – or I’ll just own it: sometimes I lose my way, where the thread isn’t love. The thread of sex is being sexy, erotic, fun, playful…
Sarina Stone: That’s all wonderful. As long as there’s some love and true connection in there, then it’s awesome. You gotta add a little spice to the lentils, especially if you choose to get married and not have an open relationship. We all have fantasies… Well, not everybody, but a lot of people do. Like I said, that’s all great stuff, but if we are disconnected from ourselves in that moment, or you know going into it you have no intention of being intimate with that individual, expecting a truly inspirational or really beautiful, deep, powerful experience, that’s asking a lot. That’s when people in this country are starting to move toward these one-night-stand sort of relationships, because they can let their guard down with a stranger and be anyone they wanna be.
Very interesting culture with the internet now. We can make up our character and then live into that. We have a lot of that going on. I’m not saying it’s bad and I’m not saying it’s good, but as far as the one-night-stand goes, yeah, they’re letting their guard down. They’re laughing, they’re crying, they’re hanging from the rafters… And then it has to be over, because you can’t suspend this belief forever.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Right. Yes, and I think that I have felt from people in my work – given that I work with a lot of couples – that people lost their way a little bit. They don’t know what good sex looks like. You’re saying that’s good for you as far as your profession, and I think the thing that I’m really trying to name here is that even in really loving relationships I don’t know that people know what this healthy sexual relationship with oneself and their partner looks like.
Sarina Stone: That’s right. That’s right, we have to start from the very beginning. In Universal Healing Tao… I mean, I do teach things outside of that because that’s what the Tao is – you take a concept, make it your own, just to be clear on that. But in the actual classic universal healing Tao, medical Chi Kung or Chinese training, we begin our reproductive energy work with what we say ‘single cultivation’. That just means before I get out there and start trying to share energy, or share anything with another person, the first thing I’m gonna do is master myself.
It is a process. There are many steps to a daily practice to cultivating sexual energy, harnessing it, cleaning it, using it. Each step is an adventure into itself. Most people are looking at doing practice, “Really, for years?” because it just gets better and better.
So we have our ‘single cultivation’. Then there comes a point, where – we know it – our mental attitudes toward intimacy and sexuality, they feel clean, they feel light, they feel open and joyful; we’re ready for a connection, we can feel that. Physically there are some changes. Women have – not all of them, but a lot of women have to clean out the energy from the ovaries and the uterus. If you had a few bad experiences it could be lodged in the tissue energetically – gotta let it go, it might be running your life. Living rent-free.
So there’s this thing we have to do on our own. Furthermore, physically mastering the body. I had talked about shifting the direction of orgasm – it takes a little training, it doesn’t just happen. For men, ejaculation and orgasm – two separate bodily functions. Ask any teenager… [laughter] It is a very biological, physiological thing. So a man has to learn to master his body, balance those emotions. Women have to learn to master their body, balance those emotions, harness the energy. It’s a process, it’s a thing, and there’s enough steps. It will take you a while to learn it. That’s single cultivation.
Then we have a second part, called ‘dual cultivation’. Interestingly enough, this dual cultivation, meaning sexual energy practice with a partner, sharing energy consciously with a partner – funny, it is the much smaller portion. Master Chia has books, he calls the practice Healing Love. Again, love has gotta be in there, or it doesn’t work. Something will happen, but not the same thing as when you add love. Anyway, it’s very interesting that just at the very end of the book, one chapter talks about what it looks like to consciously share energy with your partner. And once you understand the intimacy of sharing energy, like maybe looking somebody in the eye for a few moments, connecting with that person, you will understand… If you are not open to being intimate with that person, you don’t get to play. Period. You don’t get to do that practice.
You will never know what it feels like to lose yourself in another human being. Because if your trust level isn’t there, it ain’t gonna happen. That’s person. That is about you, not that other person. It’s your feelings of that other person. Even if that other person is a liar… You know they’re a liar, if you can see it and accept, “Hey, I just won’t believe anything you say”, you may actually become intimate friends with that individual after you see who they are. They may actually bring some benefit to your life, you just don’t believe anything they say because they’re a liar.
Well, at that level, who you choose to share your energy with, it changes… You probably don’t wanna exchange energy with a liar, because maybe you have an issue with that. But you can see clearly who you trust enough to share your body, your mind, your heart and your energy with. And when you do meet that person, it’s pretty cool.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Yes, yes. Well, Sarina, I’m thinking many people are in relationship, whether or not they are married or in a long-term relationship, who are listening to you and thinking, “Okay, does that mean I don’t have sex until I do many, many years of this practice?” What would you recommend for people that are wanting to start somewhere and are in a relationship?
Sarina Stone: You have to work on yourself… And I guess, Dr. Jessica, I should be honest – if you’re in a committed relationship, I wanna really encourage you to include your partner on what you’re doing. The reason I’m saying this… Let’s just say you wanna try something new, so you call Dr. Jessica and you get into some sort of therapy to open your mind up, or you go onto SarinaStone.com and start a conversation with me, or work with both of us, whatever it is – you need to stay really open with your partner about what you’re doing and why.
The outcome is so that you’re able to be more intimate and more open with your loving relationship, because you wanna let your partner know you take responsibility… You feel yourself holding back and you want more, you wanna be closer. And I hope for you when you share this that that’s what your partner wants with you as well.
So that’s gotta be the mindset: “I’m doing this for myself”, and full disclosure to the person that you’re ultimately gonna be sharing your energy with someday. Then you get started.
Dr. Jessica, I don’t know what your program looks like, but you talk enough about healthy sexuality. I would imagine you have a few things to say on that… I know I do. I think I would function the same way you do. I wanna have a communication with that person and just find out what are your goals? What’s working for you, what’s not? And then we come up with a program – what do you need to do, so you can go from where you’re at, which you say is unsatisfactory, to where you’d like to be, which is a deeper level of intimacy and pleasure for the body and the mind. Then we just go from there, and create a program.
Does it take years? First of all, if you’re already having sex now, the answer is no, it doesn’t take years. You’re just having sex now. Every level of self-awareness that you attain on this path, your sex is gonna get better. Or – and we have to accept this – you’re going to discover that you’re with somebody who doesn’t want to grow with you. And I’m gonna shoot all those people over to Dr. Jessica for that, because those people need support, a very special kind of support if they wanna grow, and it really feels good not to be hindered by negative beliefs, and starting this new program… But their partner is comfortable where they’ve been all these years. You really need to go talk to somebody and work through that and hopefully save your relationship or find one that suits you both.
So no, you don’t have to wait to have sex; you get the great pleasure of knowing that it just gets better and better. The more self-awareness, the more self-mastery, the more you can open your heart and love and trust, the deeper your experience will be with love and loving exchange.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Yes… I’m listening to you and I’m also thinking about the individual experience of beginning this practice with you… Let’s say somebody contacts you and is resonating with I don’t even know what my beliefs are about sex, or I get all these images from media and I feel like when I go to have sex with my husband I need to look a certain think or I’m really critical about myself, but then throughout the day I’m largely disconnected, too. I just imagine that that individual experience of working through some of that to get to a place where you’re saying that self-intimacy… Can you speak to that a little bit, what that could look like for somebody that is not accustomed to feeling that?
Sarina Stone: In our last interview we talked about the importance of emotional balance, mental health, because it has a direct effect on our relationships. The physical health piece also has a direct relationship to relationships with others, and I talked about that. I threw out kind of a teaser and told people that that inner smile practice that we did in our first interview is actually step one in our daily practice for cultivating, refining and ultimately recycling our reproductive or sexual energy. That’s gonna be a big piece of this. I don’t know, a person could master the Inner Smile in a month or two – or less – and then I’m gonna add to it… We call it the Inner Smile and Six Healing Sounds for really full practice; that could be mastered really quick. Then there are other pieces that have to be mastered, and it depends on you.
For those who reach a point in their practice – I can’t go into all the pieces, Jessica… You didn’t go to school, basically. It’s called an education because that’s what you’re gonna get. You need a teacher to take you through this, and we’re gonna be together for a long time, until you reach a point where you know so many pieces; we put it together in a great practice, you just don’t really need to talk to me very often.
But in the beginning, I would say every six to eight weeks you definitely we definitely will be touching base; or less.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: I think you’re speaking to the format of what the exercises… I think what I’m asking is – I’ll just use myself: when you did the talk in Boulder, and it was a group, I think Gina was hosting it; Gina had a really great space and she was holding workshops from time to time, and Reid and I attended and I remember just being profoundly impacted by your teaching, but one of the things I took away personally was just the awareness of my female parts and organs. And that I can actually be conscious of that throughout the day, it was a totally new thing for me. I obviously think about my body, but to be aware of my female organs and body parts, and to really be in relationship with my sexuality for myself was a new thought for me.
Sarina Stone: It’s a game changer. It’s a game changer for any woman that hasn’t had that experience. We got one organ on your last show that I was on, we smiled to our heart. For our complete daily practice – men and women – we’re gonna add some things; we’re not only gonna add our sexual organs (prostate, ovaries, uterus, breasts etc.), we actually need to be aware of the glands that secrete the hormones that create progesterone, testosterone, estrogen, oxytocin… It goes on and on and on.
As a person starts training, we add organs, glands – reproductive organs, of course – to our Inner Smile and for a while in our program to spend a little time on a daily basis creating the relationship that you thought was so lovely.
For some men and women, when they get into it they find negative feelings in there. Maybe one person learns a little bit, learns how to connect with the organs and glands, and two weeks later they’re like, “Next!” They’re great, they’re done. They’ve managed to raise the vibrations of those organs. They feel like they’ve mastered something in themselves, feeling really good, let’s move on to the next step. Your teacher will determine for you when you’re ready to move on to the next step based on your experiences. That happens.
But you know what else happens? Sometimes bad things, bad experiences are lodged in there for men and women, and we need to spend a little time cleaning that up. Not cleaning up the bad experience, cleaning up the negative belief that has occurred as a result of the bad experience. These people are still living in the past; they are expecting bad things, and therefore they eventually show up. So sometimes we have to take time off. I’m not really comfortable speaking about my students’ stories, but I will tell you this: I’m a pretty high flier, always have been. I love meditation. I’ve dedicated my life to cultivating the ability to use my brain – not my mind, my brain – to issue specific types of brain waves to make things happen. I find it fascinating, and I always have, but let me tell you, Dr. Jessica, when it was my time to do something that we call Ovarian Breathing – and again, if you want to study, when the time comes I’ll tell you what that means… One of the things that Ovarian Breathing does is it cleans out the ovaries and the uterus, physically and energetically.
Apparently, I had some heavy negative beliefs in there, because I could do that practice every day for about a year. I would try it and I’d get to about day number three of my daily practice for cultivating, refining, circulating and recycling my reproductive energy, and my life became unmanageable. I was so sad and so fearful and so unhappy that I couldn’t function. I mean, you have to get up to go to work, you have to have a life, maybe be a mom or whatever your thing is. So I had to back off. And I had a teacher, so I could roll this [unintelligible 00:37:31.00] and say, “Now what do I do?” He’d say, “Stop, go back to the basics and get those emotions under control, but add your ovaries and uterus to your Inner Smile. Let me know when you feel better”, and I would try it again. About a year later – and this is just single cultivation. I’m still having sex, I’m thinking it’s good, and all that kind of stuff; I didn’t stop being a sexual person just because I was cultivating myself. I just didn’t have sex that was as good as it was after I got rid of all that crap, all that garbage, those terrible, terrible expectations and beliefs. And I remember it. I remember the day, I remember where I was when I realized, “Oh my goodness! I just did my sexual energy self-cultivation daily practice every day for 30 days, and I am not a basket case. [laughs] Wow!”
I had this idea that since I had accomplished that, that the journey was over and now I would be healthy enough to share my energy with somebody else. I was wrong. It was just the beginning. My mental journey, my emotional journey, to be honest… Gosh, that was over a decade ago that I made that accomplishment, and I don’t really feel like it ends. I don’t feel like the comfort with deep intimacy with myself and others and my dedication to living a life where love is a conscious part of every decision that I make – I don’t really feel like I’m there yet. I feel like I too get distracted on a pretty regular basis and create silliness in a negative way for myself, so I can’t really tell you how long somebody does practice and then they reach some nirvana. I can tell you that you don’t have to stop having sex. If you’re enjoying it, don’t stop having it. I’ve never told somebody to stop having sex that they enjoy, while they’re educating themselves on how to get more self-aware and learn how to play with this energy and do stuff with it and have a richer experience as a result of that. I’ve never told anybody to stop UNLESS the sexual arena that they’ve been living in is hurting them or someone else.
And then, I’m not a psychologist, you can agree or disagree, but if somebody’s energy is being drained from their sexual experiences, if they’re physically, emotionally or mentally being hurt by the way they have sex, or if someone else that they’re connecting with is being hurt by the way they conduct themselves in the bedroom – if I’m invited to throw an opinion in there because it’s my student or my client, yeah, I’m gonna suggest you take a break, for sure. I will give myself permission to do that.
That was a very long answer, but the questions that you ask, Dr. Jessica, they’re not simple. There’s layers of understanding for ourselves as physical, emotional and energetic beings.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Yes. There’s so many things that you’re saying that are very, very important. I love that you have a website that has resources available, I love that you’re available to help guide people and I know you lead workshops all over the world. I feel though as we’re talking that it’s difficult. We’ll be talking about relationship, and then I’m wanting to talk about individual experience, and then you’re talking about the individual sexuality and I’m like, “But I also know that you’ve helped people really heal their bodies from physical ailments.” I think I’ve just referred someone to you last week that has the cysts on the ovary. There’s just so many… We talk about one angle, and then I’m inclined to want to talk about other angles, so it’s very rich.
I liked that in the previous podcast you said it’s very simple in its essence, and the application of it is tremendous. All the areas that it touches and it reaches – it’s pretty much everything.
Sarina Stone: You know, we may have to do a third interview. [laughter] Here’s the thing: anybody out there who knows what the word ‘holistic’ means… You have to view our body as one unit; there’s different parts, but all those parts are interdependent and interactive. So sure, of course part of my training is very physical. I am an expert in abdominal massage and in November I’ll be teaching a wonderful abdominal massage course in Australia; we call that Chi Nei Tsang. If your referral comes in to see me in my office, or wherever they’re at, there may be physical touch involved, but in the end… I mean, when I say physical touch – I’m not a gynecologist; it would be the abdominal massage. We’d see if there’s tissue that’s hardened or painful. If we know we have the cysts because our doctor has diagnosed that, that can really help. We gotta figure out how did those cysts get there, what thought started this whole thing. And that is thinking outside of the box in Western culture, but in Eastern culture it’s not thinking outside of the box. You ask yourself how did you get well, how did you get sick; it always starts with a thought, because they believe the universe is mental. So we’re gonna take a physical approach and helping the lady with the cysts. We have to also take an energetic approach helping the lady with cysts, so now we say holistic. You gotta include it all together.
We wanted to talk about the physical stuff, which would be maybe working on the body and loosening up the tissue in the reproductive area – for men AND women, by the way. That means lower abdominals, hips, maybe even upper thighs, loosening up that tissue so that the energy can flow again. That’s just physical, getting the electromagnetic energy to flow in the body – that’s a real thing. Getting your blood flow through tissues so you can get proper nerve connection – that is a very real thing. So Chi Nei Tsang and its relationship to sexual energy, this would not be the first interview I do on that. Of course you wanna talk about it, because Dr. Jessica, you think holistically. You’re like, “Wait a minute. There’s all kinds of pieces that figure in here.” Yes, it’s why I’ve been training with Universal Healing Tao for so long, and I keep picking up more certifications because I see you have to have a well-rounded program. You have to understand food, you have to move your body, you have to understand your mind and master your mind so you can master your body.
And no man is an island. There are some times when you need a treatment. You need someone either to do energy work with you or touch you. It’s a holistic experience, as is the village that it would take to help keep us happy and healthy. It takes a village sometimes. So we cultivate ourselves to the point where we’re open enough to actually go see Dr. Jessica. You have to be open enough to see another practitioner and have that exchange.
I bet you’re thinking about the physical stuff, because that’s a part of it. You can’t just do one thing, take one medicine, and expect to heal an issue that’s multi-faceted.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: Right. Okay, so I know we’re wrapping up, Sarina. Is there anything you wanna say in closing to help inspire people, give people hope to perhaps contemplate engaging with your work?
Sarina Stone: I’m gonna go back to the first point that we made in this interview. If I could offer one bit of advice that applies to everybody, that would be consider the importance of a loving connection to yourself primarily, and then to the person that you want to be with. And consider that you will never fully live into the deepest connection and thus the deepest pleasure that we as human beings are capable of if love and trust and connection are not primary goals and considerations in your connections with yourself and others. That’s what I would put out there, Dr. Jessica – love is number one. It really does change everything.
That being said, you can learn more about this particular topic on www.SarinaStone.com. Start looking around. It will say Women’s Health, Men’s Health… There’s different protocols for men and women. You can see Medical Chi Kung, where we talk about that Inner Smile that we spoke of, smiling to the organs. Play around on the website. If you’ve taken a look, then go to the Contact Us page, drop me an e-mail and just tell me what your goal is. What do you want? What’s missing? What do you wanna transform? Then I can help guide you so you know where you wanna start studying.
Dr. Jessica Higgins: I love it. All of these links will be available on the show notes. I encourage you to reach out to Sarina. Thank you so much, Sarina, for offering all your tips and information with us today. We really appreciate it.
Sarina Stone: It’s been a pleasure, Dr. Jessica. Thank you for inviting me.
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I hope you have enjoyed these episodes with Sarina Stone. She comes from a different background than I do, of course, and what she’s talking about is this inner connection between the mind, the body, our relationships and energy – all of these things are so relevant for our overall well-being and for our growth and transformation. If you have any questions or have any ideas around a podcast that you would like me to create an episode on, I would love to hear from you.
You can find me on my website, which is DrJessicaHiggins.com. You can find the show notes for today’s episode – Episode 71: How To Use Sexual Energy To Improve Your Health And Relationship. By clicking on Podcast you can find the most recent episode there at the top. Click on it and you can find the show notes and the links we mentioned.
I hope you take great care until our next episode together.
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