Dr. Jessica Higgins: Hi, thank you for joining the Empowered Relationship Podcast. I’m your host, Dr. Jessica Higgins, a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. Today’s episode is 262, How Do I Know When My Relationship Has Reached An End? This is that question we hold in our mind when things are not going well, or perhaps we’ve reached this breaking point, is should I stay or should I go?
Before we get started, I want to just center with you. Taking a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. Really, the goal of these episodes on the Empowered Relationship Podcast are intended to support you in cultivating long-lasting intimacy, that feels healthy, life-giving, authentic, safe, connected, happy, and loving. I realize, in today’s conversation, we’re going to be talking about when it’s not those things, and when it is time to call it. If you would like access to today’s show notes, you can visit drjessicahiggins.com, click on Podcast in that top navigation bar, and there you’ll find all of the episodes. Again, today’s episode is 262.
I want to read a review that I got in January… No, this is February. It’s a five-star review titled “Awesome.” “I love the empowered relationship podcast. I love the compassion she puts into all of her episodes. It is so easy to connect and sometimes I just don’t want to turn her off. Her voice is so soothing and I love how she relates her own relationship into the episodes. She knows how to pick the best people to interview. Sometimes I think she’s talking directly to me. Thank you, Jessica.” Oh, this means so much. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a rating and review; I really appreciate it. It makes such a big difference.
To be clear, I have a few people on my team that helps support reaching out to guests that sometimes I select, and then we get a plethora of people that pitch to be on the show. So I do have a team that vets that based on the criteria that I’ve set out… And really, that is geared towards giving you the best episodes possible, the highest value, and really my biggest thing is for it to not be a sales pitch. I really want you to feel that you’re getting information, research, tools, practices for you to implement and consider as you negotiate relationship.
Let’s get started in today’s episode. Today’s episode again is 262, How Do I Know When My Relationship Has Reached An End? When I should call it, when I should leave. I recognize that this is such an individual process to really come to that clarity. My hope is that in today’s conversation, I can give you some things to be thinking about and considering if this is in the neighborhood that you’re in.
Honestly, if you’re not contemplating ending a relationship, which I’m hoping most of you are not, this still can be helpful in looking at ways that you can up-level your relationship. Because even if you are feeling good about your relationship, there might be aspects that potentially could be healthier, or are problematic sometimes. I’m hoping that all of us can get some value out of today’s conversation. Listeners have posed this question, and overall, I find it tough to give a prescriptive answer that will fit everyone, although I do feel that there are some standard deal-breakers that make being in a relationship impossible, too harmful, or too painful, and I will be mentioning those. Other times, we might experience nuances, dynamics that are problematic and destructive, and make it difficult for us to have this clarity of should I stay or should I go, really having a clear yes or no.
It can be confusing if we’re in a relationship that we’re uncertain about or have ambivalence with if we try to compare other people’s experiences to our own… Because truly, one person’s experience or circumstances in that situation could be very similar, but mean entirely different things in a different relationship. I just want to acknowledge there’s a lot of variables at play. Again, as I said, I’m really hoping that I can give you some things to consider if you’re really questioning your relationship.
Deal-breakers. I’m going to list some very common deal-breakers that make relationships extremely difficult. These are things that get in the way of people really showing up, being there for each other, and turning towards a relationship. There are a lot of blocks, a lot of barriers, and a lot of ways that people will have certain behaviors or tendencies that make it, again, almost impossible for there to be a connection. You may have heard these if you’ve listened to other podcasts or even my podcast; I know I’ve mentioned it on the Empowered Relationship podcast. And/or if you looked into taking a course, or engaging in a program that’s related to relationship support, or couple support, you may have heard of the three A’s. Abuse, addiction/alcoholism, and affairs. Typically, people will say this program is not for you if you’re experiencing these things, and that is that these three A’s are more problematic or more prominent in the sense of what needs attention; that these concerns or these issues are to be addressed first, because if they’re not, they’re going to get in the way of any attempt to work towards the couple relationship improvement.
Abuse. For a lot of people, this is grounds for an automatic breakup or divorce. In its more extreme forms, you have an abuser or the perpetrator, and you have the person that’s being abused or the victim. This can be physical, emotional, sexual; there can be lots of ways that this abuse can occur. Typically, what we’ll see in most people’s relationship challenges is that there is an escalating, that some pushing and shoving occurs when the dynamic or the conflict escalates. Now, this is still abusive. Some of these deal-breakers, again, if someone’s married, they have children, and they still have the interest and the hope of improving, healing, repairing, and getting to more health in their relationship if you get professional support, that these issues can be addressed.
If you’re dating, I will say in a moment, most of the people that I’m working with are in a long-term committed relationship, by way of a long-term partnership, marriage, or very, very deeply committed in a way of engagement or something along those lines. If you’re dating, it really is an opportunity to look “Is this person someone I want to spend the rest of my life with?” So there is a little bit more of an evaluation happening, a getting to know, and an exploring. If we bump up against a deal-breaker in the way of abuse, if your partner shoves, hits or grabs you, or even gaslighting, telling you that what you’re experiencing isn’t true or what they’re doing isn’t abusive behavior, that would be very important to draw a line and a boundary around, and possibly break up around.
Addiction and alcoholism. Please know as I list these, I’m not going into great depth. Although I want to say I do have a guest coming on the show talking about alcoholism – I really appreciate her perspective, because she’s looking at when one person is struggling with alcoholism, it really affects the whole system. Whether or not it’s the family or the couple, and that the couple or family needs to be in recovery and treatment, so both partners.
As Sherry Gaba was talking about in a recent podcast episode –I’ll make sure to put that link on today’s episode show notes– the codependency tendencies and how that often is paired with alcoholism and addiction. In psychology, one of the things that are identified around alcoholism and addiction is the lack of connection. Oftentimes this is in one’s early upbringing or perhaps history in life… And that turning to a substance is a way to cope, is a way to function or attempt to function and deal with the pain, the underlying pain. Again, we wouldn’t say this is a healthy strategy, and this is sometimes what people do in the attempt to be okay in the world where there is a lot of pain and potentially trauma.
Other people use it for different reasons. I’m not condoning, again, or explaining that addiction and alcoholism are okay. It’s just recognizing that oftentimes when people turn to these substances, there’s something else going on.
When we look at relationships, in as far as the functioning of relating, when someone is altered in their state, it’s very difficult to actually connect and have relationship. So this is hence why it’s a common deal-breaker. The substances are getting in the way of someone being present, available, and accessed right there in an altered state, so they’re not even connected to themselves. The other thing that’s incredibly problematic is when we are in that altered state, we can be more reactive, we can do and say things that, again, are very hurtful and even abusive, because we are in that disconnected place. The real thing around relationship here is as much as we love or as much as we are willing to do the work with them, they have choice about whether or not they’re going to use or be in recovery, or drink or be in recovery. So this is incredibly, as I said, difficult to move forward when there is an issue of alcoholism and addiction.
Affairs and betrayals are also very common deal-breakers. This is where someone goes outside of the relationship, outside the commitment and agreements, and engages with someone else, whether or not that sexually, emotionally, or otherwise. Betrayals can be, perhaps when you’re starting to date, or you’ve been together for a period of time, and there’s undisclosed information around someone’s past or their experiences, that impact you and influence you. Whether or not they have children, or they’ve been engaged in a crime, or have some type of debt or something that is a part of what you need to know as far as information. That can be other reasons why people are like, “I can’t move forward with this.” Not to say that some of the betrayals are in themselves a deal-breaker, but potentially the withholding, the hiding, and the lack of communication and transparency is more of the injury. Most likely, that’s not going to happen when somebody steps outside of the relationship in the way of an affair or cheating.
I was going to say a few more things, but I’m looking at the time and I want to move on. So I would just really have in your mind, particularly when you’re dating and haven’t engaged in the formal commitment of life partnership or marriage, that these common deal-breakers of abuse, addictions/alcoholism, affairs, and betrayals are really reasons to put a stop or call a halt, and whether or not it’s reevaluate or break up and really bow out.
When I’m working with people, most of the time people are reaching out when they’re in pain and they are experiencing hardship. Sometimes there are affairs, or alcohol or substance abuse is in the mix, or there has been some pushing and shoving. Again, I would refer out if there were some real abuse, perpetrator/victim type of thing, because that’s not my specialty. It’s really notable for me to assess for these things, because this is going to get in the way of the relationship work. I have to also assess “Is this person able to really engage in the couple’s work?” Maybe they’re not. That’s why you’ll hear that people need to go to recovery first, or they need to do trauma work first before they really focus on the relationship dynamics.
Now those are always happening, so sometimes we want to do it co-jointly, like doing it at the same time… And again, we need to have both people engaged in the in the couples work. So when I’m working with people, usually there’s some disconnect pattern that’s very apparent, and I’m helping them recognize that, and really looking at how their pain, conflict, upset, and discord gets them further into this disconnect. It’s like we have protective strategies, and the way that we protect ourselves and what we’re showing our partner is confusing for them, because they’re not seeing the underlying inside vulnerability. I’m not going to talk a great deal about that today, but just knowing that the dynamic is more problematic than either person, typically. But when we’re talking about these deal-breakers, oftentimes somebody is so heavily resorting to these protective coping strategies that they can’t actually access more, and that’s where that deeper work comes into play.
The other thing that I want to note, that I’ve already mentioned, is that when people are engaging in couples coaching, they’re investing in their relationship. Most people don’t want to invest a great deal of time, money, and energy unless it’s something that they are very committed to. So that’s where I’m typically working with people that are in a deeper level of commitment. Now, when somebody is dating and potentially running into some roadblocks, they’re typically not seeking my support unless they’ve noticed a common theme in the way that they are experiencing dating. It’s almost shining a mirror or a light on a dynamic that they’re participating in or choosing, [unintelligible 00:16:17.05] so to speak. So someone might reach out wanting to explore that further. But generally, when people are dating, they’re going to experience their own limits and their own boundaries as the relationship progresses or doesn’t progress. There are just some places that people aren’t willing to go or can’t go. For example, if you have two people that are dating, and one person’s not responding or really reciprocating, it’s really difficult to move forward if somebody doesn’t text you back or is canceling on the day, that’s kind of obvious.
Another example would be if someone’s not being honest or they’re not keeping their commitments, it would be very difficult to develop trust. If you’re catching someone in lies, or withholding, or not following through, that’s very difficult. Perhaps someone who’s being unkind and hurtful – it’s hard to feel cared about and loved. If somebody is being demeaning or belittling, or teasing in cruel ways, it’s hard to feel safe. There are many more, I’ll just comment on a couple of others. I’ve heard a lot of people really express the difficulty around this, that one person doesn’t want to commit. It’s very difficult to move forward, build a future, and build a life together. That will run its course at some point and everybody’s got a different line. Some people are willing to give it a couple of years, some people are saying, “No, I want this and this is of high value. If you don’t want it, I’m willing to go elsewhere to co-create it with someone else.”
Another issue that typically does not work is when one person is controlling. Attempting to manage anxiety, insecurities, jealousy in the way of control. While it might feel like it works for a little while, it’s really difficult for the other person to feel like they’re living with a sense of personal agency, can endeavor in their individual pursuits, have a sense of freedom, and it’s hard to feel really happy and healthy. What can also be really problematic is when someone is willing to comply or accommodate these controls. It might mean “I’m not going to go out with my girlfriends, or I’m not going to go see my family.” Or whatever the restriction or the control is. And what can happen over time as someone feels a little more isolated, or is cut off from support systems of friends, family, and community. This can create that unhealthy dynamic.
I do think that when people are young, it can be a common experience to have this all-in, being super engrossed in each other totally, almost enmeshed. And we lose ourselves and then there’s a coming out of that at some point, like “I’m never doing that again. That was not healthy.” Sometimes we need to learn through our experiences.
I also want to say – and I’ve already alluded to this, but I really want to underscore this… There is a difference between entering into relationship, being exclusive, committing to exploring the possibility of being together a longer-term, versus entering into a long-term commitment, a lifetime partnership, or a marriage. Why I’m distinguishing a difference between these deeper levels of commitment is sometimes when we are a little bit more relationally inclined, we want relationship – I have a client who still really deeply wants marriage and long-term partnership, and he has noticed he’s rushed to the process of locking it in, so to speak, in dating and moving and pushing that a little bit more forward faster than maybe he ultimately finds healthy… Because there’s this urgency to be more committed, and that feels safer and more secure, like we have more confidence that that’s going to last. That’s not actually true; I would actually say the converse is true. The more that we can get to know someone, how they show up, what they show us, how we deal with difficulties and conflict, and how we work together – all of these things help us develop those deeper levels of trust that allows us to feel more confident about saying yes in a long term future, and I would say to this topic, help us feel a little more clear about whether or not we’re in or out. If we push the commitment too fast, then perhaps we haven’t even honored our intelligence or even getting enough information; we put ourselves in a situation where we’re committed and feel obligated, but we haven’t really done the due diligence, so to speak.
Let’s go into some of the dating traps that are common. One might be staying too long; it might be treating the relationship as more significant and more committed than we’re actually ready for. In other cases, it’s hoping that the person will change, and giving someone many, many, many, many opportunities, maybe even too much time. I resonate with that. I know I had a relationship and I think I’ve mentioned it on the show; not the one that I mentioned a lot, the one that taught me and really woke me up to a lot of these relationship principles. One of my biggest complaints with him is that he would have these anger outbursts, like he would express his anger in these really big ways. He was a tall man and very muscular, so his expression was big. He did grow up with an LAPD dad, grew up playing football, played college football, so he had this intensity in his experience, and he would probably argue, as a man, in that training of anger is the acceptable emotion. Nonetheless, I really struggled with it. He was a sensitive guy, he got it, he understood the value of it. I gave it a lot of time, and it still was an issue… And I had to call it at some point.
A few years after the breakup we had some correspondence, and he was expressing just how much pain he felt about that breakup. You know, it’s interesting… I look back and maybe it would have worked, I don’t know, but this is what I was saying in the beginning – everybody’s got their own personal limits and boundaries, so it’s really difficult to say, “This is what you do, this is what you don’t do.” I think for me, it really had to do with setting limits and boundaries and really feeling the flex of that. That was really important for me, my health, and my development, so I wouldn’t take that away. I think we connected several years later, and he has a beautiful wife, and I think three or four children, and I think he’s doing really, really well. So who knows what that was for him and his learning. That anger expression was not okay with me. It didn’t feel good, and there’s a lot around it that wasn’t working. So I did give it a lot, but I think I even stayed too long is my point.
Another dating trap that’s very closely related to what I just said, but it’s staying for potential. This is looking at all of the positives. What we typically do when we’re ambivalent or have doubts about a relationship is we get into our head, we go into the list-building of the pros and the cons, and we go back and forth, back and forth… And that’s a really difficult thing, because we can look at all the good and look at the potential, and yet we can still feel this dissatisfaction or this unhappiness.
Towards the end of the show, I’m going to give you some things to work with, because I would really recommend to really take this honest look around what are they showing you now? I have a client, he’s like, “If you listen, people are telling you who they are. They’re showing you who they are.” That’s really important to really look at and be with.
Again, I had a listener who put a question out around different stages. She was saying her boyfriend was really working on building his business, he was super busy, he was working all the time, they had the same values… So how does she negotiate that? Because she is wanting to move forward and she wants a commitment, yet he is not ready. She really was ready, and so that’s a huge conflict. It’s difficult to advise someone to stay… Particularly when we’re talking about fertility and women in their 30s; it’s like “Do I stay with this person? They’re not ready to commit and I can’t get any promise of commitment. Do I sacrifice my childbearing years to be with this person when I deeply want family and I want commitment?” That’s a hard thing to suggest to someone that, yeah, do that. I think there’s a real challenge and conflict, and if we can’t talk about it and we can’t really look at working together, it’s really hard to see the future. That’s what I was saying earlier about – it’s hard to move forward when someone isn’t ready.
Another trap that people run into is being afraid that there’s not someone else out there. It’s like, “Oh, well, I’m getting some love and affection.” Or whatever the pros are, to feel like that’s better than nothing. That’s such a trap, because that is not the case. There are people out there for love and connection that we can cultivate a bond with. And when we think that there’s no one else out there, that keeps us in this potentially destructive or unhealthy relationship. I have a client who has experienced some toxicity in relationship, and he’s had this narrative a little bit in his own mind around being fearful that there’s not another person out there that will be there for him, love him, or develop a relationship with him. He’s challenged that and he’s come to find out that that’s not true at all, that there are many people that actually are interested in him. But what he was willing to tolerate in the sense of lash outs, in the sense of digs, and the hurtful character attacks – like, it was really, really painful for him… So much so that it was affecting his confidence, and he was kind of collapsed, walking on eggshells, and it was really, really difficult.
Another trap that mimics this idea of being with somebody for the potential is this fantasy bond. It’s like who you want them to be and who you’ve imagined them to be. It’s the dreams, the vision, and the and the future creating that we do in our mind of all the wonderful places that you’re going to go together, things you’re going to experience, the things you’re going to do together, and the life you’re going to build. We can get very connected to that, very attached to that… And yeah, we can overlook – even in the last episode, Dr. Stephen Porges was really recommending “Do you like this person? If not, you’ve got some work to do.”
Again, part of what I’m recommending here is when we’re dating, to really have some sense of some of these traps that keep us stuck, because that can keep us in this holding pattern… Because it is true, there’s also the life experience of staying in relationships that are unhealthy, problematic, destructive, and spend so much time, and we feel like we wasted our time, or that we gave our best years to someone and it didn’t work out.
I’ve heard so many people grieving the loss of giving their best years to someone, and that’s very tragic. We don’t want to abandon ourselves; we want to really have our back when we’re looking at “Do I want to continue this relationship?” If you find that you have engaged or are engaging in some of these dating traps, I really want to encourage you to be gentle and don’t get down on yourself. Because again, the one-size-fits-all answer does not apply. There’s a lot of nuances to this. Each person has their own process, journey, and development.
Also when we’re dating, it’s really difficult to predict if someone’s going to do the work. That’s why I was saying a little more time is helpful to gather that information. It’s not to say even when we are married or deeply committed that it’s a guarantee that someone’s going to do the work. It’s always a constant process and development.
I will say, as I mentioned in my own relationship history, some of the processes of being in a relationship that didn’t feel healthy or had some level of toxicity, that it really helped me learn about my boundaries, my sense of worth, my value… And also, really get to some of the principles that I talk about now and practice in my own relationship, and just how powerful and transformational it’s been. I mean, honestly, I can stand here right now with you and say my relationship with my husband is one of my most cherished, most grateful… I get moved to tears when I think about it… Just how much I value and it’s one of the things I’m most, most grateful for, my health and our relationship.
One of the things that I was so crystal clear on before even meeting him, after experiencing relationship hardship, was I wanted someone that I could grow with, someone that would do the work in their own life and that would do the work with me. So they would do the relationship work, they would do their own work, and I would do my own work. Because we are responsible for our own lives, and that was something I really wanted, somebody that I could grow with.
If you’re noticing some of the dating traps, here’s a couple of thoughts about how to get more clear. Again, I mentioned if we really look less about the future and potential, or explaining and rationalizing, and even minimizing people’s behaviors and understanding why they do what they do, if we just really look at what are they showing you, how are they showing up, what have they done in the past – that’s all really good information. It’s not to say that someone’s not interested in working with you, it’s also what are they currently showing you and who are they. We really want to pay attention to that.
You know, one of the things I found myself when I was dating, and really choosing and contemplating deeper levels of commitment was “Would I want this person to be the parent of my child?” Being that I’m heterosexual, it’s like, “Do I want this to be the father of my children?” It really asks me to look at his character and his qualities from a different perspective; then that could be helpful. Again, as I said, as Dr. Stephen Porges was really inviting us, is “Do I really like this person?” I’m going to give some more things to consider about getting clear, that relate to, I think, any relationship, so I’m going to push pause on this part real quick.
Okay, so just to kind of back up real quick, we’ve talked about deal-breakers, we’ve addressed commitment level, we’ve talked about how some of the roadblocks in dating kind of speak for themselves, we’ve talked about dating traps, and we’re talking about some ways to get clearer, get more information. Now I’m going to talk about some warning signs and wakeup signs. These might be in dating and in a long-term committed relationship.
This is where we really might contemplate “Is this the end? Is this a deal-breaker?” Most of these things, if you get support, really skilled support, can help you work through these things. But on their own, it’s hard that we continue to do the same things, and our partner continues to do the same thing, and we’re basically expecting a different result. I would not encourage that. If ending the relationship feels like a real strong option for you, that’s part of what we’re looking at here.
These are warning signs, wake-up signs for relationship, period. As I am going to speak to these, I’m going to do my best to just go through them because my mind is going to want to qualify and tell you of all the stories and the couples that I’ve worked with that have overcome these things.
Lack of safety, not feeling safe. Not feeling close and connected. Not feeling happy. Not getting your needs met. Not feeling like you’re really in a good place. That can be emotionally, physically, sexually. Experiencing destructive, escalating, fighting. Power struggles. Lack of trust. Some of what I talked about before, with the affair and betrayals, but also crossing boundaries. Looking through people’s personal belongings, violating personal space, or kind of encroaching. A sense of inequity in the relationship; maybe you’ve lost your sense of agency, your voice, lost yourself, or you don’t like spending time together, you really don’t even like the person. Now again, I was going to try not to do this, but again, in all of these instances, I have been able to work with couples and really helped them get to different patterns, really undo these destructive ways of relating to each other, and really find safety connection and real communication, get needs met… All of these things can be addressed.
Okay, still warning signs. This is a wake-up. If we do heed that call, perhaps we can do something about it. But if we don’t, and that’s where we’re contemplating the end, and that might be the viable solution. Okay, just a couple more. Lack of emotional connection and intimacy; the hiding and the disconnect, the shutting down. Lack of affection and sexual intimacy; something’s not working. People have a really difficult time being honest with each other about their sexual needs or desires or preferences.
Turning towards others for connection, and I did mention this with the affairs, but we can do this and other ways. Just the emotional, physical, and it’s, again, really accessing those needs with someone outside of the relationship. Being scared to talk to your partner; feeling shame, guilt, obligation, or even perhaps being in a rut and being bored. As you may attempt to get more clear, I mentioned a couple already in the way of dating, and as we are contemplating relationship or committed relationship, that getting support to access the deeper root feelings, primary longings, fears for what’s going on for you and what’s going on for your partner… Because as you and your partner can access those deeper layers, it really assists in getting out of this disconnect.
A lot of what I mentioned around the wake-up call and warning signs happens for people when they’re disconnected. So getting that support to address that destructive dynamic; the disconnect is the problem, and really getting again, support to get out of that reactivity. Because most of the time when we’re having issue with the disconnect, or the way that we’re observing our partner, and the story that we make up about that, that we can protest, “I don’t like this. What are you doing? Where are you?” Or we can distance, shut down, or turn away, both of those things can be problematic in this cycle.
Another way to get clear, which is more of an individual practice, is to really look at turning your attention inwards. Our propensity is to look at our partner and what they’re doing, or perhaps their offenses, and really call that out. Yet, if we look at what we’re needing on a deeper level, that’s going to really assist us to have that solid ground around how to show up for ourselves and take real responsibility for that and our experience. Because if we’re in that reactive dance, it’s difficult to really show up for our needs, because we’re reacting to our partner and we’re protesting, rather than getting really clear around what it is that we’re experiencing and how to take care of that.
Another really important approach is to get into your body and access what you’re experiencing, because that’s one direct way to get more clarity. In our mind, we can go down all of these different thought trains, and we can get lost. If we come back to our body, what we’re sensing in our body, not trying to, again, analyze or understand or fix, but just really understanding what we’re experiencing and feeling… There can be a wealth of information and knowledge. If you don’t know how to do that, then again, I would encourage getting some support to access some of that somatic body/physiological experience.
I have a client who has had a lot of difficulty in her pattern with her husband. They are separated right now. She had talked about so much of her anxiety, her stomach clenching, and feeling physically ill around him. We really explored that, but that was really important for her to look at, in her body, her physiological response, and to use that as information, because it was extremely telling.
A couple more things here as we attempt to get clear… Sometimes when we get quiet and really still, there’s an inner wisdom that will emerge. If we have a spiritual practice, we might feel some sense of guidance in that. As we understand our body and get still and get clear, we might even feel a gut sense or some type of knowing that feels different than the mind, the monkey mind; that can be really helpful. As we find our ground, where we are, what we need, it’s this inarguable truth. It’s not about, again, getting into the dance of the reactivity – “you did,” and “you said,” and “I did because of this.” It’s really finding your inner core, need, and longing that you can have your back around. If you can move from that place, you’re more likely to take care of your side, or staying in your lane. And if you do that and you run some interactions with your significant other, you will either notice this shift, or it will be so glaring and clear how they’re showing up; and we work with that. That’s going to be much more doable to feel clean and clear in our conscience, and move forward and take action.
Okay, I know this isn’t easy, this is a difficult topic, and it’s typically out of the realm that I’m talking about, because I’m really in the business of helping people stay together and look at how to develop healthier, long-lasting relationships…Â And sometimes part of creating space for healthy relationships is saying no to what isn’t healthy. We’ve got to say no and let go of what no longer serves us to make room for what does. So today we talked about deal-breakers, the common deal-breakers, we talked about how we sometimes muddle up the commitment level when we’re dating, or in a serious relationship, and some of the dating traps, as well as ways to get clear when we’re dating, and also warning signs, wake up signs, if we so choose, to get the support to work it differently. And again, some more support around how to get clear.
I really appreciate your listenership and your commitment to improving how you show up in relationship. I really believe as we grow ourselves, we grow our capacity to grow relationship, and the ripple effect of that positivity when we are in a loving, secure, healthy relationship that’s happy and thriving – it makes everyone around us feel that and it’s a great model. I would love your rating and review if you would be so willing to take a moment to give us, Empowered Relationship Podcast, a rating. If you can take a few moments and write a couple of sentences about your experience listening to this show, I would be so very grateful. It does support the show and I do love hearing from you.
Again, you can find today’s show notes on drjessicahiggins.com, click on Podcast there in the top navigation bar, and you’ll find today’s episode. Again, today’s episode is 262, How Do I Know When My Relationship Has Reached An End? Until next time. I hope you take great care.
0 Comments